Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Arcade Answers (Swords 'N Sorcery)

Answers for the sixth quiz!

You might want to first check out the questions.

Sword 1 - Joust


What more can I say about this game other than "HELL YEAH"?

Best...game...ever...


Sword 2 - Crossbow


Do you remember this game? I remember being really impressed by the graphics and sound effects when it came out. You used a gun to shoot at monsters and such that were menacing some very slow people walking across the screen, whose protection was your responsibility. The gun was actually in the shape of a crossbow. I sucked at it, but appreciated the game's greatness nonetheless.


Sword 3 - Ghosts 'n Goblins

One of the freaking hardest games I have ever played. It's so difficult it's not even fun to play. IT JUST MAKES ME ANGRY.

I purposely took a screenshot of me getting killed to show how hard this game is. That's me as the skeleton after getting touched by a stupid zombie.


Sword 4 - Gauntlet


Warrior is ABOUT to DIE! From what I have read, there is no end to this game, which is a shame. Ah, what does it matter. I suck at it.




Sword 5 - Rastan


I wasn't very good at this game, but I still had fun playing. It might be hard to tell, but that monster dude is throwing juggling pins at me.


Sword 6 - Golden Axe

NOW we're talking! This game was a lot of fun. You could use magic, you could ride on dragons, you fought skeletons -- it was a nice time.

According to Golden Axe's Wikipedia entry, the screams in the game were sampled from the films First Blood and Conan the Barbarian.

Putting the smackdown on a sword-wielding skeleton


Kicking ass with a dragon - the red one that shoots fireballs is the best.


Teaching the game boss Death Adder that you don't mess with Splotchy (at least not when he can hit "Continue" until he wins)



After I put this quiz up, it occurred to me that I hadn't included one of the most popular swords 'n sorcery game -- Dragon's Lair.

I would have updated the quiz to include it, but I don't actually have this game. For some reason, I feel it's necessary that the sound clips and screenshots for these quizzes are actually taken by me as I play the game. So, no Dragon's Lair on the quiz.

Dragon's Lair was actually a laserdisc game where the player had somewhat restricted movement within the game. You had to move or press the button at the right time to continue on with the story, which was actually old-fashioned animation done by Don Bluth.

Even though it wasn't part of the quiz, I'll include a video of it.

Here's the "attract mode" from Dragon's Lair. See if you can spot the subtle objectification of women.

8 comments:

Randal Graves said...

#4 was NOT Gauntlet? Well, hot damn, oh-fer! And Ghosts N' Goblins can rot in the eternal fiery pit of diabolical sulfur until the end of time. What a cool game completely ruined by required feats of video game ninjitsu.

Splotchy said...

randal g, aw crap. Yes, of course #4 is Gauntlet.

My answers page was messed up.

It's fixed now. Sorry.

Glad to see another Ghosts 'N Goblins hater.

Manx said...

I'm glad I stayed out of this one. I see I was definitely more into sci-fi action than sorcery. Although, I did enjoy me some Castlevania back in the day.

Princess Daphne, behave! I think we almost got a "Spears" crotch shot there.

Splotchy said...

Castlevania was quite nifty.

I actually had intended to include a video of the the ending to Dragon's Lair I found a couple days ago when searching for clips. It featured a lot more of the buxom princess, but when I went to find the link again it was gone [sniff].

Cowboy the Cat said...

Objectification? who objectified her tits? I'll kill 'em!

Randal Graves said...

Castlevania ├╝ber alles !

Matty Boy said...

A favorite joke in my poindexter crowd was to say "Nerd... NEEDS SEX... badly!" in the Gauntlet voiceover style.

It still makes me smile.

dguzman said...

You are one cute little skeleton.