Wednesday, February 14, 2007

The Beast Of Berwyn, Page 3

the continuing saga of ...
THE BEAST OF BERWYN

You cross your arms and legs, trying your best not to disturb Enos, the alligator.

Enos spots the bag of nuts under your thigh. He gently nuzzles you.

He nibbles at you playfully.

The nibbling turns into biting.

Your left leg is now gone.

As you lose consciousness, you hear Bubs moan, "Aw, EEEEEeeeeenos. Come on!"

THE END

There are many paths to adventure in this story. Try again and you may have more luck next time!

The Beast Of Berwyn, Page 4

the continuing saga of ...
THE BEAST OF BERWYN

"Bill, I can't talk right now. I'll come over later."

"Okay, Arny." Bill walks away.

You dash to the phone.

"Hello? Police? I have a dead body at my house. Thank you. Buh-bye."

Minutes later an unmarked police car arrives.

A large, burly man dressed as a mime steps out.

"Sir, my name is Sergeant Andy. Please come with me to the station."

You slide into the back seat, suddenly realizing you are sitting, once more, face-to-face with another alligator.

"Say hi to Enos," Andy says.

"I know Enos. Enos is dead. I watched him die."

"Hey, that quote is from Batman Begins!" Andy shouts. The alligator, startled, latches onto your head and rips it off in a jerking motion.

THE END

There are many paths to adventure in this story. Try again and you may have more luck next time!

The Beast Of Berwyn, Page 5

the continuing saga of ...
THE BEAST OF BERWYN

"Bill, I have a situation."

"What is it? Holy carp! Dead clown! Dead cop clown!"

"What should we do? I don't want to go to jail!" you cry.

"Calm down, Arny. Let's think about our options."

Several moments of silence pass.

"Arny, first things first. Let's hide the body. Then we can think straight."

"Where? In the basement?"

"No, not the basement. That's the first place they look. Believe me."

Bill taps his lips with his finger. His bathrobe is still unsettlingly open. "Let's stuff the clown in the oven!" he exclaims.

"Before we do anything, I have to check my blog," you say. "It's been almost a day since I've been on."

You rush to your study. Your laptop has been rendered inoperable by a bullet hole.

Do you...

1) Ask Bill to hide the body while you get your spare laptop from the basement
2) Ask Bill to get your spare laptop while you hide the body

The Beast Of Berwyn, Page 9

the continuing saga of ...
THE BEAST OF BERWYN

You turn the laptop over in your hand.

"Hmmm," you say to yourself. "Doesn't look like the hard drive is damaged."

BANG!

You feel a jolt as a bullet shatters your spine. You fall to the ground.

As your life winks out, you comfort yourself with the knowledge that at least it was you, not your laptop, that took a fatal hit.

THE END

There are many paths to adventure in this story. Try again and you may have more luck next time!

The Beast Of Berwyn, Page 11

the continuing saga of ...
THE BEAST OF BERWYN

You dash to the kitchen and dial the local law enforcement.

"I'd like to report a shooting," you say.

"Yes, we know," says the voice on the other line. "Officer is en route. [CLICK]"

More screams and gunfire erupt outside. The sound of glass breaking somewhere in the house. Red and blue flashing lights suddenly flood your kitchen.

BANG! BANG! BANG!

A few quiet moments pass.

There is a loud knocking at your front door. You cautiously make your way there and look out the peephole.

A sinister-looking clown in a patrolman's uniform stands at your door, seemingly looking through the peephole straight into your eyes.

"Officer Bubs," the clown announces. "Somebody call the poh-leeeeeece?"

Do you...

1) Open the door
2) Call the police again
3) Hide in the basement

The Beast Of Berwyn, Page 12

the continuing saga of ...
THE BEAST OF BERWYN

"Bill, you get my laptop. It's downstairs under my framed Nagel print. I'll hide the clown."

"Okay!" Bill rushes downstairs.

As you put your back into pushing the crumpled remains of Officer Bozo into your spacious European oven, you stop for a second. Is this what famed blogger Arny Crankowicz has come to? How can he blog about this experience in good conscience?

You reach for the phone and dial. "Officer Bubs, please."

"One moment."

A few seconds of dead phone silence pass.

"Bubs here."

"Officer Bubs, it's Mr. Crankowicz. There's a dead body in my house. I don't know how or why it got here."

"Stay put! I'll be over there right away."

You hang up the phone. Bill emerges from the basement, laptop in hand. "Is this it?"

"Thanks, Bill! Finally. I don't even know if the last post I submitted made it to my faithful readers."

You walk toward him as he holds the laptop out to you. Suddenly, the immistakable scent of the ocean fills your nostrils.

"That's a lovely scent, Bill. What is it?" you ask.

"Aramis," Bill replies.

"But Aramis doesn't have a sea..."

Bill's face twists into a mask of fury. He lifts the laptop and brings it down on your head, as you fall into darkness.

...

You wake up, dazed and woozy, with a big bump on the head.

Bubs sits next to you, typing on your laptop.

Bubs states, "Be just a sec. Updating my blog."

Do you...

1) Let Bubs finish
2) Grab your laptop and check on your own blog

The Beast Of Berwyn, Page 15

the continuing saga of ...
THE BEAST OF BERWYN

"Bubs, go home. I need to handle this on my own."

"You don't need to prove anything, Arny. You could use my help."

"Bubs, trust me."

Bubs shrugs. "Okay."

He drives off, leaving you in the darkness.

And that's the last the world saw of famed blogger Arny Crankowicz.

THE END

There are many paths to adventure in this story. Try again and you may have more luck next time!

The Beast Of Berwyn, Page 16

the continuing saga of ...
THE BEAST OF BERWYN

You briefly glance up from the painstaking composition of your latest blog post, perturbed by the screams and gunshots outside. You focus back on your final summary.

=================================================
And, in some preliminary trials, the saliva of the common squirrel, when ingested,
=================================================

BANG! BANG! BANG!

"Awwwwwwwwwwwwrrrrh!"

"Are you alright?"

"NOOOOOOOOOO!"

=================================================
can ameliorate the paralytic symptoms of even the strongest neurotoxins.
=================================================

You hover your mouse over the "Publish" button, smiling contendedly with another blog post well-done.

As you smugly click your mouse button, bullets rip through your laptop and desk lamp, sending the room into inky blackness.

You fall to the ground. Several pregnant moments pass.

Suddenly, you hear a frantic knocking at your library window.

Do you...

1) Go to the library window
2) Inspect your laptop for damage
3) Go down to the basement to your other computer to see if the post was successfully published

The Beast Of Berwyn, Page 17

the continuing saga of ...
THE BEAST OF BERWYN

"We can give you a lift home. I can't right at the moment, but Detective Andy can."

Andy, a large burly man dressed as a mime motions outside.

"Good news, Mr. Wankowicz," Andy says as he opens the rear door of his unmarked police car for you.

"Yeah?"

"We found an alligator that is the spitting image of Enos."

As you sit down and the door closes, you come face to face with what looks to be Enos' twin alligator brother. Except this alligator is smiling.

THE END

There are many paths to adventure in this story. Try again and you may have more luck next time!

The Beast Of Berwyn, Page 18

the continuing saga of ...
THE BEAST OF BERWYN

You creep to your library window. A loud RAP! startles you. You see a trail of slime dripping from the glass.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO," a gurgling voice moans.

You back out the room quickly, stumbling over your copperish International Blogger Award.

Do you...

1) Call the police
2) Hide in the basement

The Beast Of Berwyn, Page 19

the continuing saga of ...
THE BEAST OF BERWYN

You slowly, carefully open the door.

"Hi," Officer Bubs says. "You phoned about a disturbance?" His white clown face glows eerily in the moonlight. Abruptly, his face falls into shadow as the moon drifts behind a cloud.

"Y-y-yes," you reply.

"I took Little Miss Crazy out with some rubber bullets to the forehead."

You can barely make out a figure laying on the ground in the darkness. From what you can see, Crazy Lady is put together like a 1950's dame - hairspray and cone-shaped boobs.

Bubs shrugs. "She'll be okay, I think." He pulls his gun out of his holster, positioning it so the metal glints in the light spilling from your house. "Suh-weet, huh?! Ka-POW! KA-POW!"

"That's a beaut," you manage. You can't help staring at his wide, red grin.

"Oh, my face. Yeah. I was coming from our policeman's carnival -- it's a tradition. The clown makeup was my idea. Y'know, festive. The kids seem to like it."

"Is everything okay?" a familiar voice says.

Bubs whirls around, raising his gun.

"Whoa, whoa whoa!" you cry. "It's my neighbor!"

Your neighbor Bill Sherwin cautiously moves into the light. He wears a bathrobe that leaves little to the imagination.

Bubs looks at Bill sideways. "Sir, could you please close your robe? Your junk is showing."

"Oh, sorry," Bill says.

Bubs turns to you. "So, you're going to need to come down with me and Crazy Lady to the station so I can file a report.

Do you...

1) Go with Bubs and Crazy Lady to the station
2) Politely decline

The Beast Of Berwyn, Page 20

the continuing saga of ...
THE BEAST OF BERWYN

"Bubs, can you follow me, in case things start going all crazy?"

"You got it, Arny."

"Thanks."

"Arny, for a fancypants blogger, you ain't half bad."

"Thanks, Bubs. For a sinister-looking clown cop, you're not too bad yourself."

You make your way up a steep hill.

Crazy Lady lays unconscious on the edge of a steep dropoff. Water rushes violently below her.

"Not sssso fassssst, Arny!"

A large, half-man, half-jellyfish creature shambles towards you from out of the shadows of a towering oak tree. On one side of him, a long tentacle drags across the ground, on the other, a human hand holds a gun.

"Bill! Is that you?"

"Yesssssss. The ssssad resssssult of a ssssssspecial effect gone bad."

"Bill, I'm sorry."

"Ssssssssorry? How dare you feel sssssssorry for me, Crankowisssssssss."

"Bill, I can help you."

"How?" Bill hisses.

"Well," you say, "if there are any remedies that have been indexed by Google, I'm awfully good at finding those kinds of things."

"Sssssssssssilence!"

A tentacle shoots at you and whips you across the arm. You are knocked back. You can feel a paralysis quickly come over you.

"Police!" Bubs yells. He fires his gun.

Bill returns his fire and knocks Bubs to the ground.

"Nooooooo!" you scream.

Bubs' gun falls near your feet.

Do you...

1) Reach for the gun
2) Have a peanut

The Beast Of Berwyn, Page 22

the continuing saga of ...
THE BEAST OF BERWYN

No time for spell-checking! You hit the SUBMIT button, and dash to the kitchen and dial the local law enforcement.

"I'd like to report a shooting," you say.

"Yes, we know," says the voice on the other line. "Officer is en route. [CLICK]"

More screams and gunfire erupt outside. The sound of glass breaking somewhere in the house. Red and blue flashing lights suddenly flood your kitchen.

BANG! BANG! BANG!

A few quiet moments pass.

There is a loud knocking at your front door. You cautiously make your way there and look out the peephole.

A sinister-looking clown in a patrolman's uniform stands at your door, seemingly looking through the peephole straight into your eyes.

"Officer Bubs," the clown announces. "Somebody call the poh-leeeeeece?"

Do you...

1) Open the door
2) Call the police again
3) Hide in the basement

The Beast Of Berwyn, Page 24

the continuing saga of ...
THE BEAST OF BERWYN

"Hey!" you yell. "That's my laptop! Gimme!"

You fumble for the laptop, not seeing the loaded gun also resting on Bubs' lap.

BANG!

"Whoops," Bubs says.

THE END

There are many paths to adventure in this story. Try again and you may have more luck next time!

The Beast Of Berwyn, Page 25

the continuing saga of ...
THE BEAST OF BERWYN

You muster up all your faculties of lying into a single knot in the back of your throat.

"She's my lady friend. She's been having a bad time, but she's going to get better. Please go easy on her."

"Why was she discharging her weapon at you?" Bubs asks.

"She wasn't shooting at me," you plead. "I wasn't even outside when the gunshots started. She was probably aiming at squirrels. She hates squirrels."

Bubs scratches his chin, causing some greasepaint to flake off onto his desk. "Hmm. Maybe she wasn't aiming for you. Maybe she was aiming for your neighbor, Mr. Floppy."

Bubs leans back in his chair.

"Either way, your prior knowledge of the ay-LEGED crazy lady means I am going to have to get a statement from you. This may take an unnecessarily long while..."

HOURS (AND MANY LIES) LATER...

You are exhausted. Bubs shows no signs of slowing. He begins making a series of animal balloons, placing them strategically on his desk.

Do you...

1) Ask to speak with crazy lady
2) Ask for a lift home

The Beast Of Berwyn, Page 28

the continuing saga of ...
THE BEAST OF BERWYN

You slowly walk behind Officer Bubs.

In one fluid motion, Bubs scoops up Crazy Lady and slings her over his shoulder.

He opens the passenger door of his squad car and drops her in.

"You ride in back."

He opens the door. As you slide into the back seat, you realize the car has another backseat passenger -- a medium-sized alligator on a leash.

Bubs shuts the door, jumps into the driver seat and revs the engine. "Mr. Crankowicz, meet Enos, the Captain's alligator. Enos, meet Mr. Crankowicz, a fancypants blogger."

Bubs peels out and rockets down the street.

Looking straight ahead, Bubs drawls, "We're just a couple minutes away from the station. Hey, Enos is probably getting a little hungry. There should be a package of nuts on the seat next to you. Feed him a couple, wouldja?"

Do you...

1) Feed Enos some nuts
2) Sit quietly, arms and legs crossed

The Beast Of Berwyn, Page 30

the continuing saga of ...
THE BEAST OF BERWYN

With your last ounce of strength, your hand reaches the gun.

"Funny thing, a gun," Bill whispers. "It only worksssssss when you can fire it."

A tentacle twists around your neck and the world goes dark.


THE END

There are many paths to adventure in this story. Try again and you may have more luck next time!

The Beast Of Berwyn, Page 31

"Bubs, I need to do this on my own."

"Suit yourself." Bubs walks off.

You walk to the bus stop and wait.
And wait.
And wait.

Your bus finally comes rolling around. It is now 9:30pm.

When were you supposed to meet Bill? Oh, right. EIGHT O'CLOCK.

Well, at least you're alive, for what that's worth.

THE END

There are many paths to adventure in this story. Try again and you may have more luck next time!

The Beast Of Berwyn, Page 32

the continuing saga of ...
THE BEAST OF BERWYN

You quickly run to the phone and dial the police again.

"Hello," you whisper. "I really, really need someone from the police here. Right... now.."

"Okay, we'll send another car, sir. By the way, Mr. Crankowicz, we're all big fans of your blog down here at the station."

"Thank you very much."

You hang up.

More knocking at the door. "HEEELLLLO? Hello hello hello? HEEEEEEEEEEEEE-lo? He-he-he-he-he-he-lo? Hiya-hiya-hiya-hiya-hiya-hiya?"

You peek through the peephole again. Officer Bubs slowly walks away from your house to his waiting police car, whistling a sinister tune.

Another police car barrels around the corner, lights flashing. The car barely misses Bubs as it jumps over the curb, onto your lawn and crashes through your foyer, pinning you up against the wall.

As you begin to lose consciousness, you see an angry clown hit his steering wheel. "STUPID CLOWN SHOES!" he yells, as everything goes dark.

THE END

There are many paths to adventure in this story. Try again and you may have more luck next time!

The Beast Of Berwyn, Page 33

the continuing saga of ...
THE BEAST OF BERWYN

"Okay, I'm done," Bubs says. "I want to show you something."

You look at him. Bubs points to your laptop. "Friday Random 10. Look at all the Lou Reed."

"Impressive," you say.

"I have something else to show you. Follow me."

You wearily follow Bubs out of your house.

"I saw your neighbor Mr. Floppy hightail it out of here. He left something behind."

Bubs points to a pink strand on the grass.

"What is it?" you ask.

"Well," he says, "if my fine arts education and lifelong appreciation of hillbilly music has taught me anything, that there is a jellyfish tentacle. But not just *any* kind of jellyfish tentacle. A werejellyfish tentacle."

"Bill!" you gasp.

You are startled by the faint ring of your phone.

You hurry in and pick it up.

"Arny," Bill whispers.

"Bill, why-"

"Can it, Crankowicz! If you want to see Simone alive again..."

"Who?"

"The crazy lady who was shooting at me."

"Oh."

"If you want to see Crazy Lady again, meet me at the water treatment plant at 8:00pm tonight. Come alone! [CLICK]"

"He says he's got Crazy Lady, Bubs. Isn't she still in jail?"

Bubs looks sheepishly at you. "We let her go. We needed the cell for a couple of weenie wavers."

"Eww," you reply.

Do you...


1) Ask Bubs for help
2) Go it alone

The Beast Of Berwyn, Page 35

the continuing saga of ...
THE BEAST OF BERWYN

"Bill, I can't talk right now. I'll come by later."

"Okay." Bill walks away.

You drag the body to the basement door.

Seriously? You're going to try and do this yourself? Really?

Okay.

You break your neck trying to drag Officer Bozo down the stairs.

Happy?

THE END

There are many paths to adventure in this story. Try again and you may have more luck next time!

The Beast Of Berwyn, Page 36

the continuing saga of ...
THE BEAST OF BERWYN

"Is the Crazy Lady okay?" you ask.

"She's up now, but she's groggy," Bubs drawls.

"Can I speak with her please?"

"Well, it goes against all rules and regulations and common sense, but seeing as I am dressed like a clown, okay."

Bubs guides you to the holding cell. Crazy Lady has numerous bullet welts on her forehead, but other than that, looks quite classy.

"Bubs, can we have some privacy, please?" you ask.

"Of course. How rude of me." Bubs walks off.

Crazy Lady looks at you uneasily. You flinch under her gaze.

"Crazy Lady, what --"

Crazy Lady gives you a look both groggy and perturbed. "My name is Simone."

"Simone-- I was there, I was outside when you were screaming and firing a gun. What happened?"

"I-I---I don't really remember. I was on a date with William... Sherwin... First date... He's an actor. He was on Mr. Belvedere as a child. He has also done stage work, as well as some extra work on the movie--"

"Yes, yes, I am aware of his work. He's my neighbor. What happened?"

"I don't remember. I just remember smelling the sea. And being afraid of it."

Bubs walks up to you. "C'mon, Mr. Fancypants. I'll drive you home. Say goodbye to the crazy lady."

As the squad car drops you off, the sun peeks up on the horizon.

You wave at your neighbor Bill, out in his front yard, picking up his morning paper.

"'Morning!" Bill says. He returns your wave, oblivious to the fact that his bathrobe slips open.

"'Morning."

You reach for your front door and realize it is standing a few inches open. As you warily enter your house, you notice a large pair of clown shoes sticking straight up in the air.

It is another clown cop, but this one is dead!

You hear Bill's voice over your shoulder. "Say, how about that crazy night, huh?"

Do you...

1) Ask Bill for help
2) Call the police
3) Hide the body in the basement

The Beast Of Berwyn, Page 37

the continuing saga of ...
THE BEAST OF BERWYN

Gunshots! Screaming!

You quickly save the draft of your squirrel saliva diatribe, and slide out of your den and into your fuzzy bunny slippers, muscles tensed like an industrial-grade spring.

You cautiously open your front door and slip into the dark night.

BANG! BANG! BANG!

Muzzle flashes briefly illuminate the surroundings. A ravishing woman stands less than twenty feet from you, mouth agape. After the last muzzle flash, everything goes dark.

"Are you alright?" Another voice, closer to you! You can dimly make out a figure. It is your neighbor, Bill Sherwin, in a loosely-fitting bathrobe that leaves nothing to the imagination.

The woman screams, "NOOOOOOOOOO!"

BANG!

You gasp. You feel your shirt wetten and look down. A gunshot wound pumps out blood onto your lawn. You drop to the ground.

As what consciousness you have left sputters into nothingness, a police car pulls up, and a sinister-looking clown gets out.

THE END

There are many paths to adventure in this story. Try again and you may have more luck next time!

The Beast Of Berwyn, Page 40

the continuing saga of ...
THE BEAST OF BERWYN

You quickly make your way to the basement door.

As you trot down the stairs, you realize that months and months of blogging have strengthened your mind but have weakened your knees.

Your feet slip out from under you and you fall forward.

Your neck snaps as it hits the bottom of the stairs.

THE END

There are many paths to adventure in this story. Try again and you may have more luck next time!

The Beast Of Berwyn, Page 41

the continuing saga of ...
THE BEAST OF BERWYN

Realizing that bullets are ineffective after Bubs' failed attempt to subdue Bill, you instead snatch your laptop from your backpack.

"Dessssssssstroy you!" Bill hisses.

He poises to lunge at you.

You shout, "You can consider your comments....DELETED!"

You whip the laptop at Bill, knocking him off balance. He slips back over the edge, into the churning waters below. "AIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE!"

You rush up to Crazy Lady.

"Crazy Lady! Crazy Lady! Simone!"

Simone's eyes flutter open.

"Arny?" she mutters.

"Yes." You smile at her.

"This is a probably a bad time to ask," you say, "but after this mess is all cleaned up, would you maybe want to go out on a date?"

Simone wearily says, "Ah, that's sweet. Just so you know, I only date actors."

"Oh. Well I'm somewhat of a celebrity. I have a very popular blog."

"What's a blog?"

THE END

There are many paths to adventure in this story. But this is the best you're going to get.

The Beast Of Berwyn, Page 43

the continuing saga of ...
THE BEAST OF BERWYN

"Heh, heh, heh," Bubs chuckles. "Turn around."

Bubs handcuffs you and drags you to his waiting squad car. He leans you against the car as he picks up Crazy Lady and drops her in the front passenger seat.

As he opens the rear door, a medium-sized alligator on a leash pokes its head up.

"That's the Captain's alligator, Enos. Unofficial mascot of the policeman's carnival. You ride with him, Mr. Fancypants Blogger."

He pushes you in and shuts the door.

Bubs slides into the driver's seat, starts up the car and hauls ass.

"He's a little hungry. I'd give you something to feed him, but you had to do it the hard way. Don't worry, we don't have far to go, anyways."

You look at Enos. Enos looks at you. His jaws open, close on your head and twist it off like the cap to a cheap bottle of wine.

THE END

There are many paths to adventure in this story. Try again and you may have more luck next time!

The Beast Of Berwyn, Page 45

the continuing saga of ...
THE BEAST OF BERWYN

"No, I have never met her," you insist. "Tonight was the first time I saw her."

Bubs tsks. He sits for a spell.

"Okay," Bubs says, "you can go."

"Can I get a ride home?" you ask. "I don't have a car."

"Alright, Mr. Fancypants Blogger."

The squad car drops you off at your house. It is still in the wee hours of the morning.

You reach for the knob of your front door. It's open! You peek inside. In the dim light you make out enormous shoes sticking straight up on the floor.

Another clown cop! Dead!

Suddenly a tentacle wraps around your neck. You feel a painful sting, and immediately begin to feel the inception of paralysis overtake you.

"Not like this," you whisper. "Not....like...."

THE END

There are many paths to adventure in this story. Try again and you may have more luck next time!

The Beast Of Berwyn, Page 50

the continuing saga of ...
THE BEAST OF BERWYN

"No, I really am okay. I have a tight deadline. I still don't know if my squirrel saliva post successfully made it to my blog. Can't we just do this in the morning?"

Bubs' impossibly wide clown grin gets even wider.

"We can do this the nice way, or we can do this the not-so-nice way. It's your choice."

Do you...

1) Do it the nice way
2) Do it the not-so-nice way

The Beast Of Berwyn, Page 53

the continuing saga of ...
THE BEAST OF BERWYN

You see a bag of nuts, half-opened, partially covered by your svelte blogger thigh.

You daintily pull out a single nut, putting the bag containing the remaining nuts into your pants pocket. Enos looks at you with reptilian calm. He slowly opens his large, tooth-filled mouth.

You quickly toss the nut into his gaping maw as it snaps shut. CRACK!
Enos blinks a few times, then begins wheezing. He starts clawing at the upholstery.

Bubs turns his head around, "What the hell is going on back there?"

Enos' clawing gets more violent. He rips your argyle sweater to shreds as he tries to scale the inside of the squad car.

"ACK! ACK! ACK!"

Enos falls back into your lap, looking up into your eyes with a puzzled expression. The wheezing gradually trails away as he dies.

Bubs cries, "Aw, man, the cap'n is gonna be so pissed!"

The car reaches the station. Bubs quickly gets out, and yanks open your door. "Help me carry him."

The two of you carry Enos to a nearby drainage ditch and drop him into some shallow, brackish water. Bubs pauses for a moment. "Semper Fi," he whispers. "Let's go," he says to you.

Minutes later, at the police station...

Crazy Lady is still unconscious, now in a holding cell.

Bubs sits at a desk, his clown eyes closely watching yours.

"So, what's the deal with Crazy Lady? She with you?"

Do you say...


1) "Yeah, she's with me."
2) "No, never met her."

The Beast Of Berwyn, Page 57

the continuing saga of ...
THE BEAST OF BERWYN

"Let's go!" Bubs shouts.

"Time for some mobile blogging!" you yell.

Bubs guns the squad car down the street.

"Take Maple Street!" you shout to Bubs.

"Why?" asks Bubs. "That's out of the way!"

"They have good Wi-Fi there!" You open your laptop.

"The squirrel spit post made it!" you exclaim. "Now for a quick post to whet my readers' appetites."

Bubs yells, "You better hurry! We're almost out of road!"

You strain your mind for an appropriate topic. Ah-ha!

You direct your browser to take an online quiz -- 'What Kind Of Action Hero Are You?' You fill out three fields, hit Submit. An image slowly loads, indicating...

'YOU ARE JAMES BOND'

You smile to yourself. A quick copy-paste-submit and the rest of the world knows you are James Bond, too.

Bubs slows down the squad car. The last bits of daylight recede into the horizon as you pull up to the water treatment plant.
"What now, Arny?", Bubs asks.

You close the laptop, a stone cold gaze on your face.

Do you...


1) Ask Bubs for backup
2) Go it alone

The Beast Of Berwyn, Page 59

the continuing saga of ...
THE BEAST OF BERWYN

Your thoughts immediately turn to the blog post of the preceding night. You fumble in your pocket for the bag of Enos the Alligator's peanuts, paralysis almost completely overtaking your body. With every ounce of effort you empty the nuts into your open mouth.

"Another clown poleeeeessssssssssssssssssssman?" Bill hisses. "I told you to come alone, Crankowissssssss!"

In the corner of your eye you a spot a squirrel prancing just a few feet from you. Its nose twitches and it hops a little closer.

"I hope you can sssssssssssswim without the use of your armssssss and legssssssss! Ha ha ha!"

The squirrel jumps on your face and begins eating the nuts out of your mouth. A small rivulet of spit drops from the squirrel's lips onto your tongue. You feel the paralysis fade slightly as the saliva starts reacting with the jellyfish neurotoxin.

"Jussssssssst what do you think you are doing? I read your posssssssssst, Crankowissssss! Ssssssquirrel sssssspit won't ssssssssave you!"

Suddenly, Bubs jumps up, a bottle of seltzer water gripped tightly in his hand.

"Take this, you tentacled, weenie-waver freak!" He turns the nozzle on the bottle and sprays Bill with a full, dead-on blast.

"AAAAgggghh! Carbonation! Horrible, horrible carbonation!"

Do you...


1) Grab Bubs' gun
2) Grab your laptop