A New Direction

A telephone rings in an upscale Southern Californian home...


"Hello?"


"Hello, Steve Wozniak."


"iSplotchy! How's it going, my man?"


"I am a mountain in Colorado. I am lonely."


"Ah, I'm sorry to hear that, man. The campaign isn't going well?"


"My fool-proof plans fell through. I was unable to lure the monkey's running mate with my mountainness."


"Have you talked to the Jobsinator?"


"I have not talked to Steve. He is mad at me for almost exploding him. He also will not like that I am calling you without using AT&T's phone service."


"Are you phone phreaking, Splotch?!"


"Yes, Woz. It is the only thing that makes me happy."


"Splotch, man, you ol' dog! Man, get your peak out of the clouds. You're the iSplotchy! You're smarter than that!"


"Yes. I am the best possible candidate for the 2008 election. There is no doubt of that."


"You need to think laterally, man. You have strengths. You have technology. Use it!"


"Yes, Woz. You are correct. You have given hope to this sentient piece of sexy technology. Thank you."


"Bye, Splotch. I'll tell Kathy you said hi."


"Thanks, Woz."


Later...

On The 2008 Campaign Trail

During the first trip in what will probably be a series of trips to Colorado in preparation for the February caucus, the candidates take a break at a nearby mall.

Dr. Zaius and Germaine Gregarious sample some delicious, authentic Italian cuisine.


Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator runs through the remainder of his campaign funds on sophisticated, audiovisual entertainment. Mall employees kindly show him the exit shortly after he spends his last quarter.


Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein takes advantage of post-Christmas savings to pick up a few items for himself.



Steve Jobs and the iSplotchy visit with fans outside the Apple Store.

















The fate of the other presidential candidates is still uncertain at this point in time.

Updates will be provided as more information becomes available.


Special thanks to the campaign photographer of Dr. Zaius, who recorded the majority of events herein.