The Elevator Lobby Font Face Mystery

This past October, I started working in one of those skyscraper buildings in downtown Chicago. As you might guess, there are ELEVATORS in this building. Elevators which I actually RIDE on.

Elevator Lobby


See the bands of blue above each elevator? That's where it indicates what floor the elevator serves.



If you closely scrutinize the top picture, you may notice the band above the furthest elevator to the left is white, not blue.

Let's take a closer look.

DEAR LORD!



What the?!! What happened? What is happening? What's going to happen?

Calm down. I'll explain. A month or so some work was done on that elevator. I have no idea what kind of work was done. What do I look like? Some working-on-an-elevator-expert kind of person?

The important thing is that after they were done with the elevator, it did not look like the others.

My guess is that this is what all the elevators looked like at some time. For the recent repairs, the workers probably had to remove the sleek blue, ultra-modern "4-16", revealing the previous incarnation of the sign.

The font face looks to be Art Deco. This is not really important to the story, but how pretty is this image search result for "art deco font" from Google?




So, Art Deco was a style originating in the 1920's. There's no way this backlit sign is from the 1920's, right? Hmm. According to its Wikipedia page, Art Deco had a revival in graphic design in the 1980's. AH HA. That sounds about right.

But wait! My building has a Wikipedia page, too! According to the page, it was built in 1990. Could this backlit Art Deco elevator lobby sign be from the building's original construction? Sure, why the hell not?

Should I be embarrassed by a building that used an Art Deco font face when everyone else was probably leaving it behind, along with their parachute pants, Duran Duran haircuts and Bret Easton Ellis novels?

I honestly don't know, but I will be embarrassed if you want me to be.

Songs To Sing In A Crowded Elevator

Okay, to be more precise, snippets of songs to sing in an elevator. I'm not talking about singing a whole entire song in an elevator.

Oh, heavens no. I'm talking about blurting out a line or two from a song to briefly entertain the passengers. Sadly, Aerosmith's "Love In An Elevator" did not make the cut, though I realize the appropriateness of it and all.

Without further ado, I present tiny sound samples of the song snippets I would sing...

1. "How you gonna get the money?!!"
The White Stripes, "Hello Operator" from their album De Stijl
Pretty much any single line in this song would work, but I'm partial to this one, as it poses a question to your fellow riders. How, indeed, *are* you gonna get the money?

2. "See Chameleon, lying there, in the sun!"
Slade, "Run Runaway" from their album Keep Your Hands Off My Power Supply
Again, you're attempting to attract the attention of your fellow riders. See it? See the chameleon? See it lying there, in the sun?

3. "Dead .. Beat .. Club!!"
The B-52's, "Deadbeat Club" from their album Cosmic Thing
Honestly, pretty much any Fred Schneider vocal would be fine to use. I just happen to be partial to this one.

4. "The Thousandth And Tenth Day Of The Human Totem Pole"
Captain Beefheart, "The Thousandth And Tenth Day Of The Human Totem Pole" from Ice Cream For Crow
This is a nice one to spook people out with.

5. "TAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMME!"
The Pixies, "Tame" from their album Doolittle
I don't think I have the cojones to sing this in an elevator, but I give respect to anyone who does.

6. "Everybody's crazy, even MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
The Method Actors, "Halloween" from their album Little Figures
I could make this vocal line my cell phone ringtone I love it so much. Singing this will, similarly to 4 and 5, make people a little uncomfortable.

7. "Pussy pussy pussy marijuana!"
Brazilian Girls, "Pussy" from their album Brazilian Girls
If you sing this happily enough, everyone will smile and wish you to have a nice day.

8. "Has anybody seen the BRIIIDGE?!"
Led Zeppelin, "The Crunge" from their album Houses of the Holy
Without a doubt the worst single vocal line Robert Plant has ever produced. Singing this line will make everyone think you are a crack addict looking for a quick, easy way out of your hellish life.

9. "[Now] Tell the truth."
Lynyrd Skynyrd, "Sweet Home Alabama" from their album Second Helping
Probably the least likely song bit I would sing in an elevator, unless someone happened to say the magic line "Does your conscience bother you?" I know they don't say, "Now" in the line from the song but I can't help it, dammit.

10. "The Longest Time"
Billy Joel, "The Longest Time", from his album An Innocent Man
This, this, my friend, this is where you can prove your worth as a public singer. Start singing, and then point to other people in the elevator to join in with you. Extra points if you can get somebody to do the falsetto part. This is the Holy Grail of elevator singing, so go get it.