Presently Playing

Hi, folks!

I have a fair amount of records which I enjoy hauling out and playing once in a while.

Here's the vinyl I've been listening to lately.

"NOTHING"

At this juncture in my life, I don't have a goddamned turntable. What with three kids under five running about, I don't necessarily want a turntable.

But now that I mention it, you know who has a turntable, and who has lately been spinning a variety of platters at his abode, reporting on his listening experiences?

Tim, that's who!



Tim, keep on spinning, playing and say-hey-heying!

60 Second Doodle

Okay, I have recharged my artistic juices and am ready for another project.

Hit me (i.e. give me a doodle picture idea)!

UPDATE:

Per Cowboy The Cat's request, here's a plastic surgeon's wet dream.

Battle Of The Sexes Mix - Track Listing

As promised, here's the track listing to the aborted Volume 10 of GMMP, another could-have-been masterpiece that never-was-finished.

It's like the long lost version of the Beach Boys' Smile, except it doesn't have "Good Vibrations" or a song about vegetables (at least I don't think any of these songs are about vegetables).

Ladies
01 - Darlene - Led Zeppelin [beckeye]
02 - Vicky Verky - Squeeze [beckeye]
03 - Blue Jean - David Bowie [beckeye]
04 - Hey Julie - Fountains of Wayne [beckeye]
05 - Always Claire - Knockout Drops [beckeye]
06 - Eleanor Rigby - The Beatles [distributorcap]
07 - Chelsea Morning - Joni Mitchell [distributorcap]
08 - Walk Away Renee - The Four Tops [distributorcap]
09 - Sad Lisa - Cat Stevens [distributorcap]
10 - Suite Judy Blue Eyes - Crosby Stills & Nash [distributorcap]
11 - Jenny (867-5309) - Tommy Tutone [flanneryalden]
12 - Maggie Mae - Rod Stewart [flanneryalden]
13 - Candy's Room - Bruce Springsteen [flanneryalden]
14 - Oh Donna - Ritchie Valens [flanneryalden]
15 - Sarah Smiles - Hall & Oates [flanneryalden]
16 - Mustang Sally - The Commitments [moxie]
17 - Pandora's Box - Aerosmith [moxie]
18 - Meet Virginia - Train [moxie]
19 - Jolene - Dolly Parton [moxie]
20 - Amanda - Boston [moxie]
21 - Valerie Loves Me - Material Issue [lulu]
22 - Sweet Jane - Cowboy Junkies [lulu]
23 - Love Grows (Where My Rosemary Goes) - Edison Lighthouse [lulu]
24 - Cecilia Ann - Pixies [lulu]
25 - Jamie's Crying - Van Halen [lulu]

Gents
26 - Charlemagne - John Cale [splotchy]
27 - Billy Two - The Clean [splotchy]
28 - Captain Lou - NRBQ [splotchy]
29 - Political Song for Michael Jackson to Sing - The Minutemen [splotchy]
30 - Adam Green - Momus [splotchy]
31 - Paul Stanley - Hellacopters [allenl]
32 - St. Jimmie the Prankster - Dean Gray (Green Day Mashup) [allenl]
33 - Jonathan - Nerf Herder [allenl]
34 - Vincent - Don Maclean [allenl]
35 - Pablo Picasso Visitos Los Planetos de los Simios - Adam and the Ants [allenl]
36 - Can't Con an Honest John - The Streets [barbara]
37 - Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner - Warren Zevon [barbara]
38 - Donald in the Bushes with a Bag of Glue - Ballboy [barbara]
39 - William, It Was Really Nothing - the Smiths [barbara]
40 - Our Retired Explorer (Dines With Michel Foucault in Paris, 1961) - the Weakerthans [barbara]
41 - Danny Boy - Hayley Westenra [j.d.]
42 - A Boozehound Named Barney - Maggie Roswell (as Shary Bobbins) [j.d.]
43 - Alfie - Lily Allen [j.d.]
44 - Samson - Regina Spektor [j.d.]
45 - Hey Jude - Joe Anderson [j.d.]
46 - Stagger Lee - Nick Cave [bubs]
47 - Peter Gunn - Henry Mancini [bubs]
48 - Making Plans For Nigel - Nouvelle Vague [bubs]
49 - Jimmy Jazz - The Clash [bubs]
50 - A Boy Named Sue - Johnny Cash [bubs]

UPDATE:

If any of the participants want to provide their own tracks to me for a (perhaps incomplete) publishing of this last mix, they're welcome to email me the songs.

Okay, over and out.

60 Second Doodle

Work is beginning to crush my schedule, dreams and soul (in that order), so I thought I'd start a little feature that won't take up a lot of time.

I'm callin' it the 60 Second Doodle.

Here's the details.

1. The first person to leave a comment on a 60 Second Doodle post suggesting an idea for a picture gets that picture drawn by me.


2. I'll be using a primitive program called Microsoft Paint to make my doodle, which only has 48 colors.


3. If I don't know what your picture idea looks like, it's going to be awfully hard for me to draw it (we'll just see how it goes, I guess).


4. I'm not going to use any shape tools (circles, squares, lines). It's all freehand, baby!


5. I will time myself so I don't go over a minute.


6. The doodle will be added on the same post where the person requested it.

By the way, this is not only an announcement of the new 60 Second Doodle feature, it's also the first request for a 60 Second Doodle picture idea.

Leave a comment, O Lovers Of Art!

UPDATE:

As per a request from J.D., here is a doodle of a mohawked unicorn jumping fire.

Some Possible New Projects

Since my Green Monkey Music Project has come to a regrettable end, I'm hoping to find a new project to embark upon.

Here's a few I have been bandying about. Please let me know if you are interested in any.

01. Orange Spider Prescription Drug Project
02. Supervirus By Bike Messenger Project
03. Tomato In A Stranger's Face Project
04. Let's All Wear Unlaced Nikes And Catch A Ride On A Comet Project
05. Project X Starring Matthew Broderick
06. Hippy-Baiting
07. The Hiding Marbles Project
08. Smurfs Fanfiction
09. The Animal Boobs Project
10. The Ponzi Project

Unconnected Tuesdays

A bullet train

A coyote

A Premature End To The Green Monkey Music Project

Hi folks.

I am sad to announce the end to the Green Monkey Music Project.

I'm sorry to all the Monkey Masters who have not yet received the chance to make their own mix, and especially sorry to Beckeye, whose mix had just revved up. Once I get the song order from her, I'll post the tracklisting for Volume 10 (but without the songs).

One thing I have really enjoyed in doing this bloggy thing over the past few months is the ability to connect with other people in interesting ways, whether it's encouraging others to adopt a character actor, or making a mix tape with a variety of people across the globe.

Thanks everyone for your participation.


Love,


The Green Monkey What Lives In My Brain (deceased)

The Green Monkey Masters

This post might just come across as an ego stroke to those who have been great participants thus far in the Green Monkey Music Project, and yes, that's 45% true.

But the other 55% purpose of this post is to just to help me keep track of all the Monkey Masters running around.

So, Green Monkey Masters, I salute and keep track of you!

Masters With A Mix
Beckeye has contributed Battle of the Sexes (in progress)
Chris has contributed Geography Pop Quiz


Masters Yet To Mix
Manx
Barbara
Beth


Apprentices achieving masterhood with Volume 10
Bubs
J.D.
Lulu

Green Monkey Mix Volume 10 Now Accepting Participants

Hi, music fans. BeckEye from The Pop Eye here, ready to show off my monkey mixology mastery! Since I'm a three-timer in Splotchy's now-legendary Green Monkey Music Project, I've been granted the opportunity - nay, the right! - to take over his blog and helm the latest installment.

I'm pleased to announce that Volume 10 of the GMMP will be the Battle of the Sexes Mix. Since I've noticed that a lot of very enthusiastic people have been shut out of previous mixes, I'm going to be a benevolent ruler and allow 10 participants on this go-round. Each participant will offer up 5 songs each, all of which must include a person's name in the title. Following the "battle of the sexes" theme, half of the songs will be about girls and the other half about boys.

RULE #1: Each participant must stick to one gender throughout his/her list. This is a battle, soldiers! You've gotta pick sides! If you pick boy titles, all five songs must be about boys. No slipping an "Oh Sheila" in there. (This is just to ease my highly anal-retentive mind and ensure that we end up with the same number of songs for each gender.)

RULE #2: Only one gender per song allowed. No ditties about Jack and Diane or ballads of John and Yoko.

RULE #3: All titles must include first names. No Misters, Misses or Doctors allowed. For example, Yoshimi is welcome to battle the pink robots, as long as Mr. Roboto is not one of them.

I'm not going to assign anyone a gender, so it'll be a first-come, first-served situation. If you want to play, just enter your list of five songs in the comments section of this post and you're in. Everyone will need to keep an eye on the comments to know how many slots for each sex are left. If anyone mistakenly posts a list for a gender that's already reached its 25-song limit, either Splotchy or I will let him/her know that they need to revise or withdraw.

This should be a lot of fun, because there are a ton of these songs out there. I'm excited to see what you all come up with. Big thanks to Splotchy for hosting one of the best music-sharing programs on the Internetz. Let's hear it for the boy! Let's give the boy a hand!

*By the way...I kind of lied about letting 10 people play. There will be 10 slots available but I've already taken one and one is reserved for Splotchy, so there are really only 8 left. But that still leaves plenty of room!


UPDATE:

Participants are all signed up!

Ladies
Beckeye
Distributorcap
Flannery Alden
Lulu
Moxie

Gents
Splotchy
Allen L.
Barbara
J.D.
Bubs

A New Feature: Trees And Street Signs

Hi-di-ho,

I'm starting a new feature here.

One really positive thing about living where I do is that there are lots of older trees with interesting shapes. Perhaps it sounds odd, but I have often noticed the branch arrangements (for lack of a better word) on many of the trees in my neighborhood, and found them aesthetically pleasing.

Recently I went out for a walk and took some pictures of these trees.

I'll be sporadically posting these pictures, along with very simple line drawings where I'll attempt to capture the essence of the tree in a very simple style -- I'm going for the simplicity one might find in a street sign.

Anyways, here's the first tree/sign.

Tree #1
Click on pic for larger image

Sign #1
Click on pic for larger image

Spotchy Misspells The Names Of The Rich And Famous

01. Matt Damen
02. Robert Dinero
03. Oprah Wintfrey
04. Charlene Theron
05. Ray Fines
06. Rachel Wise
07. Kate Blanchit
08. Judy Bench
09. Scarlet Johanson
10. Huge Ackman
11. Holly Berry
12. Vigo Mortonson
13. Killian Murphy
14. Steven Colbear
15. Jim Kerry
16. Lindsey Lowhan
17. Che Le Boof
18. Paul Jimmatti
19. Kevin Spacy
20. Leam Nissan

Just A List Of Links

I recently found a few things I liked so much I thought I should share, so here goes -- my first links post.


Comcast screws with its subscribers (link via Slashdot)
Investigation into practices Comcast has been engaging in to hamper filesharing for its subscribers. Yes, there are legal forms of filesharing, smartass.


Van Halen keyboard "Jump" travesty (link via BoingBoing)
The backing recording of the keyboard to "Jump" Van Halen has been using in its latest slew of concerts is played at the wrong pitch, creating an avant garde mess.


Comedian Doug Benson's MySpace blog
Doug Benson is just a comedian I admire. He makes a point of posting something every day, and usually it's very, very funny. Dig into the archives, why don'tcha.

Alternative Smashing Pumpkins Bandname Suggestions

I saw a half-gnawed pumpkin on my walk to the train today, which of course made me think of the 1993 album Siamese Dream.

Billy Corgan recently revived his old group Smashing Pumpkins for a new album. I thought it might be nice to give the band a new name, as it represents a different lineup from the earlier Pumpkins incarnation.

Here are some suggestions. You can take them or leave them.

01 Smooshing Pumpkins
02 Squeezing Pimples
03 Pickled Beets
04 Tickling Squash
05 Fisting Watermelons
06 Counting Crows
07 Billy Corgan's Ennui Featuring Jimmy Chamberlin On Drums
08 Weeping Thunder
09 Baldy
10 After-Zwan

Oh, and I still want my audition tape back.

A Creepy Way To Start Your Day

In honor of Halloween, another Friday horror movie trailer.

Videodrome (1983)

Finally, An Outlet For My Pent-Up Feelings Towards Joel Schumacher

There aren't many film directors out there that routinely provoke such a visceral reaction in me, but Joel Schumacher is one of them.

Let's take a look back at a long, fruitful Hollywood career.

---

The Virginia Hill Story (1974) (TV)
Didn't see it.

Amateur Night at the Dixie Bar and Grill (1979) (TV)
Didn't see it.

The Incredible Shrinking Woman (1981)
Lily Tomlin, right? I don't remember it being bad, but I used to regularly watch game shows hosted by Wink Martindale around that time, so my tastes aren't necessarily trustworthy.

D.C. Cab (1983)
This is the one with Mr. T, right? Didn't see it.

St. Elmo's Fire (1985)
Everything sucked except for the part when Rob Lowe was pretending to play the saxophone, which may be the funniest thing ever recorded on film.

The Lost Boys (1987)
Like a vampire, it sucked.

Cousins (1989)
This had Ted Danson, right? I'm guessing it probably sucked.

Flatliners (1990)
Sucked.

Dying Young (1991)
Didn't see it, but am 90% sure it sucked.

Falling Down (1993)
Sucked!

The Client (1994)
I think I saw part of this. It sucked, if memory serves.

Batman Forever (1995)
This was the Val Kilmer one, I think. Oh yeah, with Jim Carrey butchering The Riddler (R.I.P. Frank Gorshin) and Tommy Lee Jones completely missing the point about Two-Face. I only saw bits and pieces of it, but it sucked worse than getting a long rod stuck into your urethra (and I speak from experience).

A Time to Kill (1996)
Didn't see it, but it has Sandra Bullock in it, hence it sucks.

Batman & Robin (1997)
This was the George Clooney one, I believe. It sucked more than having a hot wire stuck into your urethra, but in this case, I can't speak from experience.

8MM (1999)
Disgusting, misanthropic twaddle. And it sucked.

Flawless (1999)
I didn't see this. It stars Philip Seymour Hoffman and Robert DeNiro. If any movie made by Joel Schumacher didn't suck, this might be the one. But I doubt it. It probably sucks.

Tigerland (2000)
Didn't see it. Don't know anything about it. It probably sucks.

Bad Company (2002)
Wow, I forgot about this one. I caught ten minutes of it on cable. Boy, did it suck.

Phone Booth (2002)
An intriguing premise run through a suckifier.

Veronica Guerin (2003)
Didn't see it.

The Phantom of the Opera (2004)
Didn't see it. I'd wager a fiver it sucked hard.

The Number 23 (2007)
Saw the trailer. It sucked.