Tuesday, April 8, 2008

How To Spot An Asshole

If you're in the middle of a large crowd and you want to separate the assholes from the non-assholes, simply loudly yell "Hey, Asshole!"

If anyone turns around to look at you, they are probably an asshole.


This post was brought to you by The Blog Cuss-O-Meter, as seen here, here and here.

(I got a fucking measly 9.2 percent!)


UPDATE!

Hey, I just redid my Cuss-O-Meter and now I am up to 9.3 percent!

I'm so happy I'm shitting rainbows!

13 comments:

Matty Boy said...

Hey, I put my rating in the permanent area to the side.

As Bunk would say on The Wire, "Where's the love, Splotchy? Where's the muthafuckin' love?"

kim said...

I'm going to try that at my meeting today.

FranIAm said...

I got zero on my fucking cussometer score.

What bullshit. What assholes!

p0nk said...

0% here too. i demand a fucking recount.

Splotchy said...

Matty Boy, I can't fucking link to a fucking sidebar.

Kim, lemme know how that works out for you.

FranIam, what the fuck?

p0nk, seriously, what the fuck? Do they even know what WTF fucking stands for?

Blowing Shit Up With Gas said...

Uh-oh... I always look when someone shouts that.

Cowboy the Cat said...

13.8 bitch! I'm above the 78th percentile! As usual, I'm above average but nowhere near the top.

fuck.

dguzman said...

Go, Splotch, go! Cuss, Splotch, cuss!

Just TRY to catch up to my 50.3% buddy!

Dr. Zaius said...

Your methods would seem to favor those with dental insurance.

Tim said...

I got 1.8%, and I'm happy with that. I'm not a big fan of cussing.




Oh, okay. For your blog. Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, and tits.

Jess Wundrun said...

Ha ha! I got a 69.3%

Not only is it a HIGH number, it's a dirty high number!

FuckYay for me.

Oh, yeah, I'll be putting that on my sidebar.

BeckEye said...

I got 26.7%. I think that's fucking bullshit! While I love to drop f-bombs and cuss it up in other blogs' comments, I keep my blog itself relatively clean.

Hmm, I bet they thought "Chikezie" was a swear word. Nope, he's just a former Idol contestant. Stupid Cuss-o-meter.

Executive Sous Chef R. Alan said...

Ha!
Boy, I'd like to join the fun and help get Splotchy's ranking up, but I better not on this computer. I'm at motherfucking work and my scumbag boss is probably watching right now.