Tuesday, September 23, 2008

John Henry Was A Giant Cheese Pizza

With apologies to Woody Guthrie, I have been finding myself making up verses to John Henry, sung passionately in the style of Mr. Guthrie.

Yeah, I do this singing in public. It helps pass the time, and scares passersby.

If you would like to make your own verse to John Henry, please feel free to add it in the comments. I'll update with more verses as they pop up unannounced in my brain.

Verse #1
John Henry was a giant cheese pizza
A giant cheese pizza was he
He didn't like to return any of his calls
And he claimed to have invented TV (oh Lord)
He claimed to have invented TV.

Verse #2
John Henry had an outboard motor
And a masters in philosophy
He would spend all day in his tub full of pudding
Badmouthing manatees (oh Lord)
Badmouthing manatees.

Verse #3
John Henry was a perfumed waitress
Who'd bring you extra marmalade
But if you didn't tip, he'd a-hit you with his wig
And throw you in the cold stockade (oh Lord)
He'd throw you in the cold stockade

Verse #4
John Henry had a plastic raven
He washed it with powdered soap
He would walk down the street with that raven on his arm
Filling all the people with hope (oh Lord)
Filling all those people with hope.

Verse #5
John Henry's pa was a garbanzo
His ma was a rehydrated pea
They met on the floor of a diner
And were joined in holy matrimony (oh Lord)
Joined in holy matrimony


Bubs said...

Now I know what the entertainment will be at Thanksgiving this year.

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

You are a balm for the troubled times our nation finds itself in.

Randal Graves said...

Everyone knows that John Sidney invented television.

dguzman said...

Are you coming over to sing these to me?

Cap'n Ergo "Carthage" Jinglebollocks said...

wow. you gave ME a run for my $$$!!!

Comrade Kevin said...

Wrote a song about it! Like to hear it? Here it goes!