Thursday, April 17, 2008

Name That Alley Contest



This is my stupid alley. Note the slight accumulation of standing water. This amount of water will probably take a good week or two to fully evaporate.

It's a crap shoot in the suburbs of Chicago if you have alleys behind your house. Brookfield does, while its neighboring suburb LaGrange Park does not.

Our alley is mud with a thin veneer of gravel that remains in place for about a week. Attempts are occasionally made to level out the alley, but this also lasts for about a week.

It's possible to get one's alley paved with some kind of futuristic compound called "concrete", provided the cost be borne by the homeowners whose properties are contiguous with the alley.

You can read all about the ins and outs of Brookfield concrete alleyway requests in a Word document linked to on a helpful FAQ page!

While I go about gathering signatures for an "Alley Paving Petition", please help me assign this alley a name worthy of its suckiness.

Whoever suggests the name I end up using will have the opportunity to provide a doodle idea, which I will doodle for them at no cost.


UPDATE:

Something just occurred to me. I think I am also going to make up a street sign (or as close to a street sign as I can manage) with the winning name, and I am going to place this street sign on the telephone pole in the alley next to my garage, where it will be seen by all other people who have to use this stupid alley.

While I like a lot of the names suggested already, please keep in mind that people seeing the sign should be aware that the name of the alley is expressing how sucky the alley is.


SECOND UPDATE:

I have chosen two winners: Miasma Row and Lake Alley. Miasma Row, because it says how I feel. Lake Alley, because I think that would be the most appropriate sign for me to hammer onto a telephone pole, before the Brookfield authorities inevitably make me take it down.

Bubs and DGuzman, please feel free to suggest a doodle idea, and I will happily doodle one for you!


DOODLE UPDATE:


For DGuzman: The entire BushCo gang falling into the lake in Lake Alley.

18 comments:

Freida Bee said...

Maybe if you named it Toby, you could become friends with it...

dguzman said...

Lake Alley?

The Imaginary Reviewer said...

What about Baggett Alley? Like, a play on words on the similarly-named glamour model...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alley_Baggett

p0nk said...

post fliers in the neighborhood advertising weekend mud bogging events back there, i bet the city will rush to pave it.

Bubs said...

Miasma Row?

Gifted Typist said...

Crooked Puddle Alley

Greg said...

How about Hogan's Alley?
If you name it after a sweet Nintendo game from 1982 it won't seem so sucky any more.

Kevin said...

I would name it Kirsty Alley.

God, I crack myself up.

Regards,

Tengrain

Tim said...

Mud Bog Alley

GETkristiLOVE said...

Alley cat, alley cat, what are they feeding you?

Okay, so that probably won't fit on a sign.

Cowboy the Cat said...

Lakeshore Drive Junior

A little Chicagoland humor

SamuraiFrog said...

Dolorous Alley. Or Despondency Way.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Craphole Alley has a nice ring to it.

dguzman said...

SWEET! Gosh, I told myself I wasn't going to cry! *sob!*

*sniffle*

Okay--how about you doodle the entire BushCo gang falling into the lake in Lake Alley?

Manx said...

I'm late, I know.

But mine would have been "George W. Bush Memorial Drive"

Bubs said...

Yay! I shall suggest a doodle forthwith.

Bubs said...

Give me a doodle of my pulling a big-ass catfish out of the water.

dguzman said...

Oooh, the doodle reminds me of that description of the leviathans, swimming around in the miasma before the universe was solidified.