Friday, February 27, 2009

Twitter Brings One Closer To Celebrities In All Sorts Of Interesting Ways

Never did I dream of having the opportunity to block William Shatner.

Thank you, technology!

Who Wants The First Splotchy Doodle of 2009?

Haven't done a 60 second doodle in a while.

First commenter with a doodle idea gets that idea doodled.


UPDATE:

For heals:
cement whale: from the depths of the unconscious.

My Suggestion For A New Crayon Color

Seepage
 



















Thursday, February 26, 2009

March 10th Is Adopt-An-Actor Day

Hey! YOU! Yeah, you.

Did you already adopt an actor? Are you listed on the adoption roster?

Or are you not aware of the wonders of adoption?

The number of needy actors is not lessening, but adoptions have alarmingly decreased. Also, some actors who have been adopted have been, I'm sad to say, neglected.

It's never too late to adopt, and it's never too late to treat your children with the respect and love they deserve.

That's why I am declaring March 10th to be Adopt-An-Actor Day ™.

For those who have already adopted, please dedicate a post on your website/blog to your adoptee(s). For those still actorless, please consider this holiday as an opportunity to reach out and care for a thespian-in-need.

Thank you.

P.S. Why March 10th? It's Chuck Norris' birthday, obviously.

The Serious Jape

Gary Cole - The Serious Jape

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Misheard Lyrics, Vol 7



MizSplotchy just hepped me to my mistake moments ago.

Prince - 1999

Actual Lyrics
I got a lion in my pocket
And baby he is ready to roar


What I Sing
I got a dime in my pocket
And baby it's ready to roll

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Unconnected Tuesdays

Ferris Wheel

Slaughterhouse

Presenting the ROYGBIV Mix!

Volume 15 of the Green Monkey Music Project is completed and available for download!

If the participants of this mix want to discuss their own selections, please feel free to do so! I'll put a pointer on this post if you end up posting about it on your own blog (or you could always just add comments here, I suppose).


==========================
ROYGBIV!
==========================

Rules and Theme Details

The Participants Discuss Their Selections:
SamuraiFrog!
Moxie!
Holly!
Glassmeow!
Dale!
Splotchy!

The Songs:
All of SamuraiFrog's songs
All of Allen L's songs
All of p0nk's songs
All of Moxie's songs
All of Holly's songs
All of Glassmeow's songs
All of Dale's songs
All of Splotchy's songs
All of MC's song


Track Listing
01 - Little Red Book - Love [samuraifrog]
02 - Orange Crate Art - Brian Wilson & Van Dyke Parks [samuraifrog]
03 - Yellow Rainbow - The Move [samuraifrog]
04 - The Village Green Preservation Society - The Kinks [samuraifrog]
05 - Pools of Blue - Barclay James Harvest [samuraifrog]
06 - Deep Purple - The Beach Boys [samuraifrog]
07 - Violet - Hole [samuraifrog]
08 - Cherry Cola - Eagles of Death Metal [allenl]
09 - My Melancholy Blues - Queen [allenl]
10 - Ultraviolet (Light My Way) - U2 [allenl]
11 - Red light Indicates Doors Are Secure - Arctic Monkeys [allenl]
12 - Yellow Man - Randy Newman [allenl]
13 - Golden Ghost - Slingshot Dakota [allenl]
14 - Bobby Brown Goes Down - Frank Zappa [allenl]
15 - Red House - Jimi Hendrix [p0nk]
16 - Whiter Shade of Pale - Procol Harum [p0nk]
17 - Blue - Jason Becker [p0nk]
18 - Purple Rain - Prince [p0nk]
19 - Brown-Eyed Girl - Van Morrison [p0nk]
20 - Paint It Black - Rolling Stones [p0nk]
21 - Green Grass & High Tides Forever - Outlaws [p0nk]
22 - Cherry Lips (Go Baby Go!) - Garbage [moxie]
23 - Yellow - Coldplay [moxie]
24 - Goldfinger - Shirley Bassey [moxie]
25 - Everything's Gone Green - New Order [moxie]
26 - Ocean Blue - ABC [moxie]
27 - Black on Black II - Heart [moxie]
28 - White Lines - Duran Duran [moxie]
29 - Pink Orange Red - Cocteau Twins [holly]
30 - Black Celebration - Depeche Mode [holly]
31 - Gold - Spandau Ballet [holly]
32 - Green Shirt - Elvis Costello [holly]
33 - On Lavender Hill - The Real Tuesday Weld [holly]
34 - Dorothy Parker Blue - The Real Tuesday Weld [holly]
35 - Nights in White Satin - Moody Blues [holly]
36 - A Skull, A Suitcase and a Long Red Bottle of Wine - Robyn Hitchcock [glassmeow]
37 - Orange Crush - R.E.M. [glassmeow]
38 - Yellow Submarine - The Beatles [glassmeow]
39 - Furry Green Atom Bowl - Robyn Hitchcock [glassmeow]
40 - Bitter Blue - Cat Stevens [glassmeow]
41 - Purple Haze - Jimi Hendrix [glassmeow]
42 - Into White - Cat Stevens [glassmeow]
43 - Once in a Very Blue Moon - Mary Black [dale]
44 - Beautiful Red Dress - Laurie Anderson [dale]
45 - Crimson and Clover - Joan Jett & the Blackhearts [dale]
46 - Orangedale Whistle - The Rankin Family [dale]
47 - The Song of Purple Summer - Lauren Pritchard (from Spring Awakening) [dale]
48 - Green Island Lullaby - Vienna Teng [dale]
49 - Pink Panther Theme - Pink Martini [dale]
50 - Silver - Echo and the Bunnymen [splotchy]
51 - I'm So Green - Can [splotchy]
52 - L'il Red Riding Hood - Sam the Sham and the Pharoahs [splotchy]
53 - Moog Indigo - Jean Jacques Perrey [splotchy]
54 - Azure - Ken Nordine [splotchy]
55 - Pink Moon - Nick Drake [splotchy]
56 - All Blues - Miles Davis [splotchy]
57 - ROYGBIV - Boards of Canada [MC]



Congratulations to the following participants, who are now proud recipients of the Green Monkey Master badge!

SamuraiFrog
Moxie
Dale

This entitles you to helm a future GMMP. You get to pick the theme, choose number of participants, and number of each songs participants have to work with.

Wear your Green Monkey Master Badge with pride!

Splotchy's Contribution To ROYGBIV

Here's a discussion of my selections for the ROYGBIV mix, Volume 15 of the Green Monkey Music Project.


Silver - Echo and the Bunnymen
The first song off their wonderful album Ocean Rain.







I'm So Green - Can
A great little track from those funky Krautrockers. From the delightful album Ege Bamyasi.








L'il Red Riding Hood - Sam the Sam and the Pharaohs
For me, this song beats their other hit "Wooly Bully" hands down. This one has got a little playful menace to it. I love it. And Sam the Sham and the Pharaohs is one of my all-time favorite rock band names.





Moog Indigo - Jean Jacques Perrey
The wacky title track from an album by Frenchman Jean Jacques Perrey. I played his two albums with Gershon Kingsley incessantly for a couple months (it didn't hurt that my kids loved it). For those who don't know, the song's name is a play on the Duke Ellington song "Mood Indigo". However, to my disappointment, I learned a few years ago that the "O" sound in Moog is pronounced like "Go" rather than "Goo". Why am I explaining this to you?





Azure - Ken Nordine
A song off Colors, a whole freaking album devoted to mauve, russet and chartreuse by Word Jazz freakazoid Ken Nordine.







Pink Moon - Nick Drake
You might recognize this song from a Volkswagen commercial from a few years back. It was actually my first exposure to this song, and my first exposure to Nick Drake. It still bothers me that it was an advertisement that introduced me to the music. I'm not sure if it's because I want to be a know-it-all hipster (oh, dear Lord, I'm not), or what. I just hate corporations, mostly.






All Blues - Miles Davis
Most of my songs in this mix are very short, so I don't feel too bad about including this long piece from Kind of Blue. I first heard this in the Clint Eastwood movie In The Line Of Fire, which doesn't bother me at all. So, I guess for me, exposure to music from movies, OK; exposure to music from ads, bad.

Monday, February 23, 2009

Splotchy Improves The Titles Of Movies Simply By Adding The Word Motherfucker

I had a lot of fun coming up with these. Probably a few more posts of these await you in the future.

Annie Hall Motherfucker



Cocoon Motherfucker



A Star Is Born Motherfucker



That's Entertainment Motherfucker



I Know What You Did Last Summer Motherfucker



21 Grams Motherfucker



How Green Was My Valley Motherfucker



Prick Up Your Ears Motherfucker



Clambake Motherfucker



Tron Motherfucker



Don't Tell Mom The Babysitter's Dead Motherfucker



The Muppets Take Manhattan Motherfucker

I Have Nothing To Say About Last Night's Oscars

Thursday, February 19, 2009

I Wanna Rock 'N Roll All Nite And Party Every Day

I
Wanna rock 'n roll all nite
And party every day

I
Wanna rock 'n roll all nite
And party every day

I
Wanna rock 'n roll all nite
And party every day

I
Wanna rock 'n roll all nite
And party every day

I
Wanna rock 'n roll all nite
And party every day

I
Wanna rock 'n roll all nite
And party every day

I
Wanna rock 'n roll all nite
And party every day

I
Wanna rock 'n roll all nite
And party every day

I
Wanna rock 'n roll all nite
And party every day

I
Wanna rock 'n roll all nite
And party every day

I
Wanna rock 'n roll all nite
And party every day

I
Wanna rock 'n roll all nite
And party every day

I
Wanna rock 'n roll all nite
And party every day

I
Wanna rock 'n roll all nite
And party every day

I
Wanna rock 'n roll all nite
And party every day

I
Wanna rock 'n roll all nite
And party every day

I
Wanna rock 'n roll all nite
And party every day

I
Wanna rock 'n roll all nite
And party every day

I
Wanna rock 'n roll all nite
And party every day

I
Wanna rock 'n roll all nite
And party every day

I
Wanna rock 'n roll all nite
And party every day

I
Wanna rock 'n roll all nite
And party every day

I
Wanna rock 'n roll all nite
And party every day

I
Wanna rock 'n roll all nite
And party every day

I
Wanna rock 'n roll all nite
And party every day

I
Wanna rock 'n roll all nite
And party every day

I
Wanna rock 'n roll all nite
And party every day

I
Wanna rock 'n roll all nite
And party every day

I
Wanna rock 'n roll all nite
And party every day

I
Wanna rock 'n roll all nite
And party every day

I
Wanna rock 'n roll all nite
And party every day

I
Wanna rock 'n roll all nite
And party every day

I
Wanna rock 'n roll all nite
And party every day

I
Wanna rock 'n roll all nite
And party every day



SING IT!!!


I
Wanna rock 'n roll all nite
And party every day

I
Wanna rock 'n roll all nite
And party every day

I
Wanna rock 'n roll all nite
And party every day

I
Wanna rock 'n roll all nite
And party every day

I
Wanna rock 'n roll all nite
And party every day

I
Wanna rock 'n roll all nite
And party every day

I
Wanna rock 'n roll all nite
And party every day

I
Wanna rock 'n roll all nite
And party every day

I
Wanna rock 'n roll all nite
And party every day

I
Wanna rock 'n roll all nite
And party every day

I
Wanna rock 'n roll all nite
And party every day

I
Wanna rock 'n roll all nite
And party every day

I
Wanna rock 'n roll all nite
And party every day

I
Wanna rock 'n roll all nite
And party every day

I
Wanna rock 'n roll all nite
And party every day

I
Wanna rock 'n roll all nite
And party every day

I
Wanna rock 'n roll all nite
And party every day

I
Wanna rock 'n roll all nite
And party every day

I
Wanna rock 'n roll all nite
And party every day

I
Wanna rock 'n roll all nite
And party every day

I
Wanna rock 'n roll all nite
And party every day

I
Wanna rock 'n roll all nite
And party every day

I
Wanna rock 'n roll all nite
And party every day

I
Wanna rock 'n roll all nite
And party every day

I
Wanna rock 'n roll all nite
And party every day

I
Wanna rock 'n roll all nite
And party every day

I
Wanna rock 'n roll all nite
And party every day

I
Wanna rock 'n roll all nite
And party every day

I
Wanna rock 'n roll all nite
And party every day

I
Wanna rock 'n roll all nite
And party every day

I
Wanna rock 'n roll all nite
And party every day

I
Wanna rock 'n roll all nite
And party every day

I
Wanna rock 'n roll all nite
And party every day

I
Wanna rock 'n roll all nite
And party every day

I
Wanna rock 'n roll all nite
And party every day

I
Wanna rock 'n roll all nite
And party every day

I
Wanna rock 'n roll all nite
And party every day

I
Wanna rock 'n roll all nite
And party every day

I
Wanna rock 'n roll all nite
And party every day

I
Wanna rock 'n roll all nite
And party every day

I
Wanna rock 'n roll all nite
And party every day

I
Wanna rock 'n roll all nite
And party every day

I
Wanna rock 'n roll all nite
And party every day

I
Wanna rock 'n roll all nite
And party every day

WE MOVE

A new, sporadic feature. Businesses that have moved.

I'm not sure if these moving posts should include pictures of where a business has moved to as well -- I kind of like just leaving it open-ended.

Anyways, here's the first:

Virso Computer Repair
6231 W. 26th Street
Berwyn, IL



Note that a piece of paper has been taped over the sign between "WE" and "MOVE". I'm not sure what the word was. To make the sign grammatically correct, I suppose the word could be "WILL", but I'm not sure that word could fit in that space in that font.

According to Babelfish, nos movimos translates to "we moved", so that makes it even less likely the taped-over word is "WILL".

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Track Listing for ROYGBIV

We have all the tracks picked out for the latest GMMP Mix, ROYGBIV!

It's a doozy. I'll hopefully have the mix available for download by the end of this week.

01 - Little Red Book - Love [samuraifrog]
02 - Orange Crate Art - Brian Wilson & Van Dyke Parks [samuraifrog]
03 - Yellow Rainbow - The Move [samuraifrog]
04 - The Village Green Preservation Society - The Kinks [samuraifrog]
05 - Pools of Blue - Barclay James Harvest [samuraifrog]
06 - Deep Purple - The Beach Boys [samuraifrog]
07 - Violet - Hole [samuraifrog]
08 - Cherry Cola - Eagles of Death Metal [allenl]
09 - Melancholy Blues - Queen [allenl]
10 - Ultra Violet - U2 [allenl]
11 - Red light indicates doors are secure - Arctic Monkeys [allenl]
12 - Yellow Man - Randy Newman [allenl]
13 - Golden Ghost - Slingshot Dakota [allenl]
14 - Bobby Brown goes Down - Frank Zappa [allenl]
15 - Red House - Jimi Hendrix [p0nk]
16 - Whiter Shade of Pale - Procol Harum [p0nk]
17 - Blue - Jason Becker [p0nk]
18 - Purple Rain - Prince [p0nk]
19 - Brown-Eyed Girl - Van Morrison [p0nk]
20 - Paint It Black - Rolling Stones [p0nk]
21 - Green Grass & High Tides Forever - Outlaws [p0nk]
22 - Cherry Lips (Go Baby Go!) - Garbage [moxie]
23 - Yellow - Coldplay [moxie]
24 - Goldfinger - Shirley Bassey [moxie]
25 - Everything's Gone Green - New Order [moxie]
26 - Ocean Blue - ABC [moxie]
27 - Black on Black II - Heart [moxie]
28 - White Lines - Duran Duran [moxie]
29 - Pink Orange Red - Cocteau Twins [holly]
30 - Black Celebration - Depeche Mode [holly]
31 - Gold - Spandau Ballet [holly]
32 - Green Shirt - Elvis Costello [holly]
33 - On Lavender Hill - The Real Tuesday Weld [holly]
34 - Dorothy Parker Blue - The Real Tuesday Weld [holly]
35 - Nights in White Satin - Moody Blues [holly]
36 - A Skull, A Suitcase and a Long Red Bottle of Wine - Robyn Hitchcock [glassmeow]
37 - Orange Crush - R.E.M. [glassmeow]
38 - Yellow Submarine - The Beatles [glassmeow]
39 - Furry Green Atom Bowl - Robyn Hitchcock [glassmeow]
40 - Bitter Blue - Cat Stevens [glassmeow]
41 - Purple Haze - Jimi Hendrix [glassmeow]
42 - Into White - Cat Stevens [glassmeow]
43 - Once in a Very Blue Moon - Mary Black [dale]
44 - Beautiful Red Dress - Laurie Anderson [dale]
45 - Crimson and Clover - Joan Jett & the Blackhearts [dale]
46 - Orangedale Whistle - The Rankin Family [dale]
47 - The Song of Purple Summer - Lauren Pritchard (from Spring Awakening) [dale]
48 - Green Island Lullaby - Vienna Teng [dale]
49 - Pink Panther Theme - Pink Martini [dale]
50 - Silver - Echo and the Bunnymen [splotchy]
51 - I'm So Green - Can [splotchy]
52 - L'il Red Riding Hood - Sam the Sham and the Pharoahs [splotchy]
53 - Moog Indigo - Jean Jacques Perrey [splotchy]
54 - Azure - Ken Nordine [splotchy]
55 - Pink Moon - Nick Drake [splotchy]
56 - All Blues - Miles Davis [splotchy]
57 - ROYGBIV - Boards of Canada [MC]

Hey There, Mr. Dirtypants!

Where In The World Is Jess Wundrun?

Only she can truly appreciate this headline:

Burris' Continuing Struggle to Remove Blagojevich's 'Taint'



If you dare, revisit the historic taint wars between Jess and I here and here.


Thanks to Bubs for the Taint Tip!

Q: How Do You Make Morrissey Uncomfortable?

A: Make Him Hold A Baby

For No Real Obvious Reason, A Picture Of Niagara Falls From 1911


Happily stolen from here

Unconnected Tuesdays

Lion

Dodecahedron

Sunday, February 15, 2009

New Green Monkey Mix - ROYGBIV

Hi-di-ho,

It's time for another Green Monkey mix - ROYGBIV. This one is going to be centered around colors. I had originally wanted to call the mix "Colours", but that would garner me crap from all you Americanskis. And "Colors" would of course offend everyone else.

Anywho, the rules:

1. 8 participants -- including me, so that's seven open slots.

2. Each person gets up to seven songs. If you have a problem coming up with seven, that's fine, but you have to provide at least five.

3. The song title of each of your selections has to contain a color.

4. You can't duplicate color names in your selections. If I pick a song with "red" and you pick a song with "red", that's fine, just don't pick two of your own songs that have the word "red" in it.

Sign up for the mix by leaving a comment.



UPDATE:

Participants:
SamuraiFrog
Allen L.
p0nk
Moxie
Holly
glassmeow
Dale
Splotchy


All slots are taken! Participants, if you haven't already done so, please leave your selections for the mix as a comment on this post.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Face Chart

Saw an interesting graphic on a BoingBoing post, itself linking to a New Scientist article discussing how facial traits can cause an observer to infer personality characteristics about a person.

Of course, I had to muck with the labels on the X and Y axes of the graphic. Enjoy!

Split Pea

Jackie Earle Haley - Split Pea

Just Because I Don't Understand Your Ad Doesn't Mean I Want To Learn More About Your Product

Happy Friday the 13th!

Thursday, February 12, 2009

MANNIX!

If There Are Any Better, I'd Be Happy To Learn About Them

I can't think of a better musical group name than Romeo Void.

I can't think of a better musical album title than The No Comprendo. Okay, Ladies and Gentlemen We Are Floating In Space is pretty neat, too.

If you have some you like better, please feel free to share them in the comments.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Jesus H. Fucking Christ, Can I Get To 100 Fucking Thousand Visits This Fucking Millenium Please?


YOU CAN DO THIS, PEOPLE!

MAKE IT HAPPEN!

VISIT EARLY!

VISIT OFTEN!

No, I Don't Like Meetings

Types of Online Word Emphasis

  • *Surrounding asterisks* - my chosen means of accenting a word in a post
  • ALL-CAPS - I use this occasionally, more often in humorous posts.
  • Bold - I don't like bold -- it doesn't stand out as much as I would like.
  • Italics - Don't use this much, either. I remember noting the nice of use of italics for emphasis in The Catcher in the Rye, but I reserve italics on my blog for titles of albums and books (hey, did you notice I italicized a book title in this very sentence??!).
  • Underline - Looks too much like a * hyperlink .
  • Blinking - I don't want you to kill me.












* Sorry, that wasn't a link. This one is really, I promise!






*LOVE, SPLOTCHY*

Unconnected Tuesdays

Carburetor

Bog

Friday, February 6, 2009

The Sleepy Squad

Thom Yorke and David Byrne - The Sleepy Squad

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Smell My Butt, Yes You Do

So, I asked my 3 year old boy if I could record his song. He enthusiastically agreed. Please bear in mind that you are missing a visual component of the song -- what he calls the "Stinky Dance", which is basically him pulling his pants down and shaking his butt at you.

Without further ado, please enjoy Smell My Butt, Yes You Do:


Link

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

My 3 Year Old's Song

Smell my butt!
Yes you do!
Smell my butt!
Yes you do!
Smell my butt!
Yes you do!
Smell my butt!
Yes you do!
Smell my butt!
Yes you do!
Smell my butt!
Yes you do!

Unconnected Tuesdays

Abalone Shell

Mattress

Post Titles You Can Have Without Attribution

Here, feel free to use any of these blog post titles.

01. The Disembodied Head Of Harry Chapin
02. Underwear Hijinx As A Predictor of Teen Suicide
03. Hippies At The Safeway
04. Pictures Of My Cat What Thinks He's People
05. Bernie Kopel Was Mean To Me At A Casino
06. The Religious Iconography Of Japanese Gum Packets
07. The Ironic Backwards "Loser L" Hand Gesture
08. My Favorite Diarrhea Anecdote
09. The Minutiae of My Walk To Work, 01/27/2009
10. The Fucking Economy
11. Positive Outlets For Your Obsolete Rage
12. Trippin'
13. Here's My Social Security Number
14. How To Look Fancy
15. How To Look Faux-Fancy
16. My Rant Against DVD Packaging
17. A Fond Remembrance Of The CD Longbox
18. DON HENLEY
19. First name DON, Last name HENLEY
20. One Of Those Greasy-Haired Creeps From The Eagles