It's The End Of The World Meme As We Know It (And I Feel Fine)

A new, sobering meme created by JDC.

I was tagged by Jin.

The question is:
"You wake up tomorrow and every person on the planet has vanished.
What do you do?"
The replies are:
Day One
Week One
Month One
Year One


Day One:
HOLY SHIT.
Have some lunch.
HOLY SHIT.
Ride around a bit.
HOLY SHIT.
Dinner.
HOLY FUCKING SHIT.
Try to sleep.


Week One:
I'd probably already be stocking up on supplies. How long would there be electricity? Without people running things, how long would things keep running? I would be thinking about these things, assuming things were still running.

I'd take daily trips (probably multiple trips) in search of others. My mood would alternate between panic and a deep dark depression, I imagine.


Month One:
I start to realize think there is no one else but me. Still taking trips, scanning TV/radio. At this point I would have scrounged up a HAM radio and tried that, too.

I would be completely stocked with food (mostly canned goods) from plundering various grocery stores. I would be contemplating growing my own food as well, but might not have started yet.

Would there be animals? I'd probably like to have some kind of dog so there would be someone I could talk to. It's likely all the animals in the pet stores I would visit would be dead (maybe not).


Year One:
I have a garden where I grow vegetables. I have lots of food and water. I watch movies, I read books. If I have a dog, I play outside a lot with it. I still check for signs of human life from time to time, but my heart's not in it.

I exercise a lot. I get firearms and practice shooting. I try to enjoy my life. I watch sunsets.


I tag SamuraiFrog.

Eye Meme

UPDATE:

Yet more eyes this morning, so I thought I'd bump this post to the top.




Hi, a meme for you.

RULES:

1. Post a picture of your eyes.
2. Tag a few people.


I tag:

Bubs
SamuraiFrog
Randal Graves
Coaster Punchman
Jin
Tim
Barbara
Dale
Gifted Typist
DGuzman

(and anyone who wants to play along)


Tim


Jin


DGuzman


Randal Graves



Bubs



Freida Bee



Dr. Zaius



Barbara



TF



Dean Wormer



SamuraiFrog (a twofer!)




Becca



Tommy Salami



John



Strawberry Girl




Star




Michelle



Natalie



Blueberry

FAIL Meme FAIL

I think I saw the first FAIL pictures very soon after they started popping up on the web (a year ago? a year and a half?).

I thought the first ones I saw were sort of funny, but then these kinds of pictures started appearing everywhere.

Next, a few sites sprung up, devoted to all things FAIL.

I really started disliking the whole business, because:

1) Most of the time, it wasn't funny.
2) It was often mean-spirited.
3) I'm tired of people lazily shitting on other people/things for a cheap laugh.
4) I'm tired of people lazily shitting on other people/things in general.


It's okay to make light of others on occasion, etc. (hey, it must be okay if *I* do it!), but for something to have sneering at anything and everything else as its sole purpose -- well, it's just too much for me to take.

For this, FAIL meme, you fail.

The Impossible Truth Behind Snake Plissken's Eyepatch

Ladies and Gentlemen! Children and Literate Animals!

Today, I draw your attention to a disease not often discussed - COMPULSIVE WINKING SYNDROME (CWS).

CWS afflicts tens of Americans every year. It is a silent killer, or at the very least, a silent annoyance.

Did you know that CWS caused the tragic suicide of Superman George Reeves?

Look it up!



How many times has CWS resulted in a dangerous misunderstanding?

Ask former President George W. Bush!






But now there is help.

Man's man Snake Plissken suffered just as the tens of you out there have suffered, until his years of sneering, tough comic book dialogue and intense studies resulted in the invention of the Snake Plissken Wink Concealer ™!



The Snake Plissken Wink Concealer ™!

ACCEPT NO SUBSTITUTES!




P.S. Thanks to Piper for this delightful meme, and to SamuraiFrog for tagging me.

Six More Random Things

1. Link to the person who tagged you. here
2. Post the rules on your blog. Okay
3. Write six random things about yourself. Okay
4. Tag six people at the end of your post and link to them. Nah
5. Let each person know they’ve been tagged and leave a comment on their blog. Nah
6. Let the tagger know when your entry is up. Okay


Okay, I'll try and come up with some factoids, hopefully which I haven't repeated before.


1. I don't follow sports, but I love going to Wrigley Field. A friend of mine has season tickets, and I'll occasionally tag along with him. I'll pester him incessantly with questions about the various players. As far as I can tell can tell, he doesn't seem to mind answering them. And now I know how to pronounce Fukudome!

2. As a kid, I did follow sports. I collected football and baseball cards, too. I have a pretty good memory when it comes to trivial stuff, so among other useless information I have no need of retaining, I can tell you that my first football card was for Bob Griese, quarterback for the Miami Dolphins.

3. There's really no reason I haven't finished my short film Streaking for the Shy other than Grade-A Laziness. I'm a procrastinator. I'll get it done, I'll get it done.

4. I don't put a lot of effort in my appearance, yet I am also pretty vain about it. What can I say? I am an enigma.

5. I like to keep my real identity separate from my "Splotchy" identity. I don't try that hard, but I kind of like being represented on the Internet by a sort-of odd word I like.

6. I'm left-handed, motherfuckers!

Blogger Album Project

Ow, tagged!

(Amended) Rules and Regulations:
1. Post your list of the seven best albums, the blogger you will tag, a copy of these rules, and a link back to this page.
2. The person tagged will put a URL to their Blogger Album Project post along with a list of the seven best albums in the comment section here.
3. Feel free to post the “I Contributed to the Blogger Album Project” Award Graphic on your sidebar, along with a link back to this page (where you can see the original rules).
4. Post a link back to the blogger who tagged you.
5. Sorry, no Manilow.


1. The Feelies, The Good Earth

2. James Brown, In The Jungle Groove

3. Wire, Pink Flag

4. Bo Diddley, Bo Diddley

5. Curtis Mayfield, Curtis

6. Frank Black, Teenager of the Year

7. The Method Actors, Little Figures


I tag Matty Boy!

Quick Meme GO!

I have been tagged by Becca for a quick meme, so 3... 2... 1... GO


1. Five names you go by:

a. Michael
b. Mike
c. Splotchy
d. Jawa (on a message board)
e. Michael Benjamin (only a couple that is friends with my parents call me this)

2. Three things you are wearing right now:

a. Sexy blue jeans (it's business casual Friday!)
b. Sexy red boxer briefs
c. A sexy Casio watch


3. Two things you want very badly at the moment:

a. To finish my movie
b. To play in a rock 'n roll band


4. Three people who will probably fill this out:

As Becca did, I'll tag a few people and see what shakes loose.


5. Two things you did last night:

a. Ate some cheesecake.
b. Watched some select scenes from The Dark Knight (again!)


6. Two things you ate today:

a. Mini-bagel w/ cream cheese
b. I will probably eat the PBJ I made for lunch.


7. Two people you last talked to on the phone:

a. MizSplotchy
b. A guy at work whose application was hogging all the CPU resources on my test box. Yes, I am calling him a CPU hog.


8. Two things you are going to do tomorrow:

a. Clean
b. Go to Thanksgiving at the Compound!


9. Two longest car rides:

a. Chicago to New Orleans
b. Springfield, IL to Florida


10. Two of your favorite beverages:

a. Ice water
b. Grape juice and water over ice


Okay, I tag:
Jin
GKL
Flannery A

Alphabet Meme, Won't You Come Out Tonight

Tagged by SamuraiFrog with a meme originated at Blog Cabins.

Here are the rules:

1. Pick one film to represent each letter of the alphabet.

2. The letter "A" and the word "The" do not count as the beginning of a film's title, unless the film is simply titled A or The, and I don't know of any films with those titles.

3. Return of the Jedi belongs under "R," not "S" as in Star Wars Episode IV: Return of the Jedi. This rule applies to all films in the original Star Wars trilogy; all that followed start with "S." Similarly, Raiders of the Lost Ark belongs under "R," not "I" as in Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark. Conversely, all films in the LOTR series belong under "L" and all films in the Chronicles of Narnia series belong under "C," as that's what those filmmakers called their films from the start. In other words, movies are stuck with the titles their owners gave them at the time of their theatrical release. Use your better judgement to apply the above rule to any series/films not mentioned.

4. Films that start with a number are filed under the first letter of their number's word. 12 Monkeys would be filed under "T."

5. Link back to Blog Cabins in your post so that I can eventually type "alphabet meme" into Google and come up #1, then make a post where I declare that I am the King of Google.

6. If you're selected, you have to then select 5 more people.


Just as SamuraiFrog did, I am listing the first movies that popped in my head for each letter.

Alien
I haven't seen this in a while. I like it, but I feel like I have been a little overexposed to it.

Barton Fink
I used to like this a lot. Now, it seems a little too smug and self-satisfied for its own good. In a list more positive to the Coen Bros., I would have picked The Big Lebowski (which I unreservedly love). However, Barton Fink popped in my head first.

Coffy
I had just included a clip from this delightful Pam Grier vehicle in a recent post, so the movie (and Ms. Grier) were still apparently fresh in my brain.

Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid
I first thought, "Dead", and then the first title that came up was this one. I haven't seen it in ages, but I remember it being pretty funny, with some nice silly moments.

East of Eden
A James Dean movie I have not seen.

Firestarter
A Drew Barrymore movie I haven't seen. Probably stinky, I'm guessing.

Gremlins
I haven't seen this movie in a long time, but I think I would still really enjoy it. It was funny, scary, sappy, all good.

House of Sand and Fog
Never seen it. I just like the title.

Ikiru
An Akira Kurosawa movie I have not seen.

Jeremiah Johnson
A Robert Altman Sydney Pollack movie I have not seen.

King of New York
An enjoyable (if somewhat goofy and silly) drama by Abel Ferrara about Christopher Walken as some druglord staking out his turf in New York. VERY goofy, but it's fun. A lot of actors were in this movie before they got their big breaks -- Laurence Fishburne, Wesley Snipes, David Caruso. Oh, and if you don't like David Caruso, you should probably see this movie. You won't be disappointed.

Lolita
The Kubrick one, not the one by the guy who did Fatal Attraction.

My Bloody Valentine
The movie that the band took its name from. Haven't seen it.

Network
I've seen parts of it. Meh.

One, Two, Three
My favorite Billy Wilder movie. Amazing.

Phantasm
Haven't seen this in AGES. Saw this when I was very young. It scared the holy shit out of me.

Quatermass and the Pit
I saw the earlier film The Quatermass Xperiment which I thought was great. I haven't seen this one, but reading the synopsis it looks like it would be great as well.

Rope
Nice little tight Hitchcock thriller.

Superman
Enjoyable movie that has an inexplicable thirty-minute beginning credit sequence.

They Live
Not the best movie John Carpenter made, but it's still pretty good. If it only could have been better...

Ugetsu
One of the few Kenji Mizoguchi movies I have seen. It was great -- I need to see more stuff by him.

Victory
Yes, the Stallone soccer movie. Move on, nothing to see here.

Who's That Knocking On My Door?
Scorsese's first feature. It's a lot of fun.

X-Men
I liked it.

Yellowbeard
Never saw it. Last film of Marty Feldman.

Zardoz
Some of this movie is enjoyable, but most of it is interminable. From the mind of John Boorman!


I'm not tagging anyone, but that doesn't mean you can't do it.

Keyboard Mashing Meme Challenge

Hey, it's been like, a while since I tried corralling anyone into doing a stupid meme. So here goes.

The Rules
1. Post the rules
2. Close your eyes
3. Count to five seconds
4. Type a whole bunch of random crap on the keyboard while you're counting
5. Open your eyes
6. Tag a few people

Okay. Ready?

owiejrpwojief aw;gjt aw;
tjawptiuwoaitum wpa9yt9p4y838at[ ja'kltklasj; kjawgt oigaoigjar a
gaw[
gaw'\awy
ay]wypy[apuaoi[a owtajwtjawl;tjaw twjt;lwaejk

I tag:

Tim
SamuraiFrog
Bubs
Freida Bee
DGuzman
Dr MVM
GKL
Cowboy the Cat
Lulu
Manx

HELP THE WORLD BE A SILLIER PLACE

Splotchy Film Festival

SamuraiFrog tagged me last week with this nice little meme, and now I finally have the time to complete it.

I get to pick 12 movies to program into 6 nights at a theoretical film festival.

First, the rules:

1) Choose 12 Films to be featured. They could be random selections or part of a greater theme. Whatever you want.

2) Explain why you chose the films.

3) Link back to Lazy Eye Theatre so I can have hundreds of links and I can take those links and spread them all out on the bed and then roll around in them.

4) The people selected then have to turn around and select 5 more people.


Okay, here goes!


FIRST NIGHT

A Little Princess (1995)
Time Bandits (1981)
We ease into the first night with films dealing with childhood and the imagination. These are two topics that have always been important to me.

A Little Princess is a wonderful children's film filled with empathy and magic, directed by the great Alfonso Cuarón.

Time Bandits is a children's movie aimed at adults. It captures the wonder, the fear, the disappointment, the confusion, everything about being a child. It's my favorite Terry Gilliam movie.


SECOND NIGHT

Sonatine (1995)
Dazed and Confused (1993)
The movies of the second night have a thread of uncertainty and aimlessness. The characters are a little adrift, but not necessarily in a despairing way.

Takeshi Kitano's Sonatine pretends to be a violent gangster movie, but morphs into something odd and compelling as its characters are yanked out of their world.

Richard Linklater's Dazed and Confused pretends to be a stoner comedy, but explores the casual cruelty of adolescence.

Both of these movies are complicated, deeper and richer than the genres in which they are categorized.


THIRD NIGHT

In A Lonely Place (1950)
Ali: Fear Eats The Soul (1974)
In the third night, we deal with relationships, and the difficulty of maintaining them. It's all about the problem of making and keeping connections.

Nicholas Ray's In A Lonely Place features what I feel to be Humphrey Bogart's best performance. There is a romance that figures prominently between Bogart and Gloria Grahame, but I think the relationship between Bogart and his agent is even more deeply moving.

Rainer Werner Fassbinder's Ali: Fear Eats The Soul is an extraordinarily empathetic look at what first appears to be an unusual relationship, and the strains and cracks that appear in it over time. It's filled with truth, sadness and hope.


FOURTH NIGHT

Shadow of a Doubt (1943)
Touch of Evil (1958)
The fourth night is the darkest of the Splotchy Film Festival. We explore the decay of the human spirit.

There aren't many darker movies than Alfred Hitchock's Shadow of a Doubt. That's all I'll say about it. See it for yourself.

If you haven't seen Orson Welles' Touch of Evil, please do so. Mike Vargas might be the hero of this movie, but it's Hank Quinlan that we feel for.


FIFTH NIGHT

Escape From Alcatraz (1979)
Touch of Evil (1956)
Can we let a little hope into the festival? First we saw the decay of the human spirit, now we see its strength -- strength under oppression, monotony, repetition, indifference.

Don Siegel's Escape From Alcatraz is an incredibly watchable, suspenseful movie, filled with memorable characters. And hey, the prison warden is played by The Prisoner Patrick McGoohan himself. How crazy is that?

Robert Bresson's A Man Escaped is one of those movies that somehow communicates in the medium of film better than 99% of other movies. It's utterly engrossing, moving and hypnotizing.


SIXTH NIGHT

2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)
Playtime (1967)
We end the festival optimistically. The films on the sixth night are filled with hope and a childish wonder.

Stanley Kubrick's 2001: A Space Odyssey sees a future for humanity, beyond violence and ignorance.

Jacques Tati looks for humanity, but instead of seeking it in the future, or in outer space, he finds it in the environment around us.

***

So, there it is. I'm not tagging anyone else, but I'd happily read about the programming of any of your own theoretical film festivals.

That Meme Thing What's Been Traveling These Parts As Of Late

TAGGED! by Cowboy The Cat!

The rules:
Answer the questions about yourself. At the end of the post, tag 5-6 people and post their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know they’ve been tagged and asking them to read your blog (something along the lines of "Hello! I found your blog inquisitive! Please check out my blog! It is about the daily happenings in the life of a park ranger! --- or something). Let the person who tagged you know when you've posted your answer.


What was I doing 10 years ago?

Crap, I dunno. I was temping, I think. I was dating MizSplotchy. Most importantly, I was preparing for the Rapture that was coming in the year 2000.


2. What are 5 things on my to-do list for today (not in any particular order)

a) I gotta do this meme, because CTC did an awesome job on my story virus and if I don't do this today I'll feel like a festering potato.

b) I'd like to wrassle with the kids a bit when I get home, or play cars, do something fun, etc.

c) Tonight I'm meeting with the four main actors of my upcoming short film, together for the first time! I'm a little nervous.

d) I'm taking my camera with me. After the actor meeting, I want to revisit the location I really liked on Spaulding and take some more pictures. I also want to see what it looks like on a weeknight (I was there before on Sunday).

e) I might snap a few photos of negative space signage as well.



3) Snacks I enjoy:

Wheat Thins

Ghirardelli Chocolate Caramel Squares

A knifeful of creamy peanut butter

Brownie bites

Pistachios


4) Things I would do if I were a billionaire:

a) [acts of altruism placeholder]

b) Assemble an orchestra of 250 acoustic guitars, arranged so I can spontaneously direct groupings of guitarists to play certain notes.

c) Build a kickass adult-sized combo jungle jim and funhouse, not like those crappy ones you find at state fairs

d) Do a series of self-financed feature films

e) Work on only things that are creatively/emotionally rewarding, or are integral to "a)".


5) Places I have lived:

Springfield, IL

Carbondale, IL

Chicago, IL

Brookfield, IL

What can I say? I am a denizen of the Land of Lincoln.


6) People I want to know more about:

In the spirit of CTC's Random Weblogs feature, I am going to randomly think of blog URLs and tag the people I find there.

http://picklerelish.blogspot.com/ (Last updated 03/2006)

http://ivanatinkle.blogspot.com/ (Last updated 06/2005)

http://robotsindisguise.blogspot.com/ (Last updated 08/2004)

http://crunchythings.blogspot.com/ (Last updated 03/2006)

http://throwmetheidol.blogspot.com/ (Last updated 03/2005)

Where's The Meme, Boy? Where's It Hiding?

     _                  
    |_|          ___    
    | |         /___\   
   _| |_      (| 'o' |) 
 _| | | | _    (_ - _)  
| | | | |' |    _| |_       __
|          |   /     \     /  \___
 \        /  / /(. .)\ \__/   |___|_____
   \    /  / /  | . |  \__     _______|_|
     \  \/ /    ||_||     \    ___|
      \__/      || ||      \______|
                () ()      
                || ||
               ooO Ooo

For Those Who Can Find It

Ahhh.

Vacation. For my family, but not for me, unfortunately.
Every student and teacher looks forward to the
return of warm weather, because it signifies that the school
year is at an end.

So, what then? Should I be like everyone
else in the workforce, working summer months? Or
could I make it as a teacher? Could I shoulder the
responsibility of attempting to impart knowledge to
eager minds, or minds eager to do anything but
tests and quizzes?

My mother was a teacher, giving junior high kids an art
education. But I can't teach art. I'd like to teach
magic, or trickery, scavenger hunts, puzzles with
elaborate clues. But can I find a job that pays me for that?

Let's say that I would turn out to be good teacher,
or that I was passable. Let's say I taught puzzles, or tricks
of language. The problem would be the next class.
Kids taking my class would have the answers to my questions.

Returning students could simply pass these questions, which
I labored over, to the next batch of students. It wouldn't be
Geography or Math, which is something relatively fixed, and
having relatively firm rules to base my teaching on. But
teaching tricks? Perhaps they're better done for fun.

I'm Not Sure How Random These Are, But There Are Six Of Them

A dreamy, steamy meme, from Freida Bee:

*Link to the person who tagged you.
*Post the rules on your blog.
*Write six random things about yourself.
*Tag six random people by linking to their blogs.
*Let each of the six know they’ve been tagged by leaving a comment (on each blog).
*Let your tagger know when your entry is up.


1. I am really enjoying living in Brookfield lately. The sun is warming up things, and the friendly bunch of neighborhood kids are out playing again. My kids have a good time outside. There are three parks within walking distance of our house. We had a really nice and relaxing time at the Brookfield Zoo yesterday. It's not the big urban center of Chicago (the reason I moved up from Springfield in the first place), but it's cool.

2. My favorite word of praise is "cool". My favorite word of disapproval is "stupid".

3. I have recently realized that I am ignorant of a fair amount of enormously-popular celebrities currently walking around and getting their stupid pictures taken.

4. I don't ever want to have a dog, because a dog is a pooping baby that never grows up.

5. I hate clutter but am oblivious to filth. I could live in a really dirty apartment (and I have), but at least every dirty thing would be in its proper place.

6. I can't keep up with my 3-movies-at-home Netflix subscription. I'm going to need to ratchet it down a couple movies. Am I ever going to watch The Changeling? Maybe I'll just wait until Halloween.

Daffodil!

Previously:
Iris!
Marigolds!

A Movie Quote Meme With A Doodle Happy Ending

Hi, here's a belated movie quote meme completed on behalf of Mathman.

Rules:

1. Here are quotes from 15 of my favourite movies.
2. See if you can name the films from whence they were lifted.
3. No googling or IMDBing; I'm trusting you on this.
4. I'll post the film names as they’re correctly identified.


My additional rule:
5. Person(s) with the most correct answers can supply a doodle idea for me to doodle.


The Quotes:

1. "What does Operations care about a bunch of damn books? A book in Dutch. A book out of Venezuela. Mystery stories in Arabic."
Three Days of the Condor [Matty Boy]


2. "Life mocks me even in death!"
An American Werewolf In London [Never Identified!]


3. "Well, I've been to one world fair, a picnic, and a rodeo, and that's the stupidest thing I ever heard come over a set of earphones."
Dr. Strangelove [Matty Boy]


4. "I saved Latin. What did you ever do?"
Rushmore [Cowboy The Cat]


5. "Don't be so gloomy. After all it's not that awful. Like the fella says, in Italy for 30 years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder, and bloodshed, but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, and the Renaissance. In Switzerland they had brotherly love - they had 500 years of democracy and peace, and what did that produce? The cuckoo clock."
The Third Man [Becca]


6. "Back home, they put me in jail for what I'm doing. Here, they give me awards. "
Casino [SamuraiFrog]

7. "I heard about Doc, and I know why he did it. Somebody took away his painting privileges."
Escape From Alcatraz [Becca]


8. "Oh, ho ho! You sly dog! You got me monologuing! I can't believe it."
The Incredibles [J.D.]


9. "You're a very attractive man, Ken. You're... smart, you've got wonderful bones, great eyes, and you dress really interestingly."
A Fish Called Wanda [Tim]


10. "Ask him, Edie, how come he's so good at killing people?"
A History Of Violence [J.D.]


11. "You are named after the dog?"
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade [Cowboy The Cat]


12. "Pay strict attention to what I say because I choose my words carefully and I never repeat myself."
Inside Man [J.D.]


13. "What was Raymond doing with his hands?"
The Manchurian Candidate (1962) [SamuraiFrog]


14. "I think my body's getting used to these 36-hour days."
Primer [Never Identified!]


15. "Lisa, whatever female-driven, emotion-based dilemma you may be dealing with right now, you have my sympathy. But for the sake of time and sanity, let's break this down into a little male-driven fact-based logic. One simple phone call saves your dad's life. "
Red Eye [Lonie Polony]


UPDATE!

To make this a meme with an amazingly happy ending, I have decided to offer my doodling services for *anyone* that was the first to correctly answer any of the questions.

I await your doodle ideas!


DOODLE UPDATE!

For Lonie Polony: Danny Zucco in Greased Lightning (how about Zucco in front of Greased Lightning? I should have read your request a little more carefully!)




For SamuraiFrog: A walrus typing on a laptop that's starting to explode.




For Tim: Working from home.




For J.D.: John McCain channeling The Hulk breaking a baby lamb in half, with the blood dripping onto a poster for Blade Runner




For Becca: Wonder Woman dancing with Mario (from Mario Brothers)

Middle Name Meme

Zoiks, another meme I have been tagged with. I better get on with it, I reckon.

The Rules:

1. Post the rules before you give your answers.

2. List one fact about yourself beginning with each letter of your middle name. If you don't have a middle name, use your maiden name or your mother's maiden name.

3. At the end of your blog post, tag one person (or blogger of another species) for each letter of your middle name. Be sure to leave them a comment telling them they've been tagged.

Bright - I'm reasonably smart. There are plenty smarter, but I do okay, I guess.



Eccentric - I'm a tad weird, and not necessarily in the oh-let's-watch-a-documentary-about-this-interesting-chap way. I have an eclectic palate, I concentrate on odd musical things, and I routinely indulge my sense of humor that many times finds no common ground with readers of my blog. So, I'm not crazy wacky nuts, but I'm a little off (I honestly think most people have their own eccentricities which they choose to keep hidden).



Negative - I can be a real pisser sometimes. This pissiness comes out in bursts, sometimes in carefully controlled form.



Juvenile - Four words: I like fart jokes.



Anxious - I'm a hypochondriac, I have the occasional panic attacks, I'm paralyzed with fear when faced with a mechanical breakdown or a simple household repair. Anxious.



Misanthropic - Not only am I negative, I am also a little misanthropic. I think people are capable of wonderful things, but there are times when confronted with something awful I think, "yeah, that's humanity for you". See Dreadful Reimaginings for my misanthropy in concentrated form. And look forward to a new bitterly funny installment of this feature, Jesus and the Magic Beans, which I'll post sometime this coming weekend.



Imagination - I'm not all rain clouds, I like rainbows too. I think the imagination is one of the greatest treasures of being alive. If you're not using yours, you're missing out. That's one reason why I often have more fun talking with kids.



Nice - I'm nice! Honest!


I'm so nice I won't tag anyone for this. However, if the ghost of Harry S. Truman wants to give it a shot, he is certainly welcome to.

Bubs' Voice In The Wilderness

I hear a faint and distant kerfuffle.

Is it the light brushstrokes of a clown painting an alligator? The sickening wet crunch of an alligator eating a clown?

No, it's a meme lobbed thisaway from the long lost Bubs!


Rule 1) List three reasons for your blogging.

a) I gots ideas
b) I needs to tell them
c) It's free


Rule 2) List the rules.

I am. Just be patient.


Rule 3) Tag three others with the thread.

I tag:
Arianna Huffington of The Huffington Post
Cory Doctorow of Boing Boing
Bob Somerby of The Daily Howler

The Rather Complicated Logic Of Memeing and Rememeing

So we are well clear of February Is No Meme Month, which means standard meme rules apply.

Dr. Zaius has tagged me with a "Six Word Memoir" meme that Freida Bee previously tagged me with and I answered here.

In certain cases I could simply provide a link to my original completion of the meme as a comment on Zaius' post which tagged me, saying "I did it [link to my original post]here[/link]".

However, due to a confluence of events, this is not appropriate, and I must redo the meme to satisfy the informal rules set forth by meme-governing bodies.

Please allow me to explain.

I recently started my own meme, one which I am not entirely proud of, but, well, here it is.

It's a really terrible meme, where I simply do the "Name Game" song on different blogger's names, and say they in turn have to do the "Name Game" song on their own set of bloggers, etc. Zaius recently completed the Name Game meme here (he had been one of the people I tagged).

I want to compare the Name Game and the Six Word Memoir memes, but first let's break down the standard attributes of a generic meme:

Relevance - Does the meme make sense to the tagged person? For example, a movie-related meme assigned to a blogger who frequently discusses movies would have a high Relevance, while a gardening meme to the same person would have a low Relevance.

Efficiency - How much is required of the tagged blogger to satisfy the meme requirements? If the taggee can easily complete the meme with little to no effort or time, we call this a high Efficiency meme. If much work/time is required, this is a meme of low Efficiency.

Positive Effect - What will the outcome for the completion of this meme be? Will interesting facts be revealed? Will a work of art emerge? This is more subjective, but I would argue that different memes have different degrees of Positive Effect.

I use a 100 point system on each attribute. The attributes are added together to give you the total meme score (TMS). The higher the TMS, the more compelled the taggee should feel to complete a meme. So, a TMS of 300 is a *must complete*, while a TMS of 75 should elicit from a tagged blogger, "yeah, well, if I'm bored and I don't have anything better to do, I'll take a crack at it."

An important modifier: One thing we must keep in mind is that the number of times a person is tagged with a meme factors into the TMS. Simply divide the sum of the three attributes by the number of times someone has been tagged for a particular meme to get the adjusted TMS.


The Six Word Memoir
Relevance: 78
Efficiency: 77
Positive Effect: 79
TMS: 235

Relevance: The Six Word Memoir is actually pretty nice for a meme. A bloggers' business is writing, and this writing represents his or her unique worldview. Asking people to reduce their worldview to a small number of words forces the taggee to consider this worldview, and attempt to distill its essence.

Efficiency: Despite the fact that the meme prompts the blogger to think a bit, it's still a very efficient meme. Only six words are required -- no downloading/uploading of images, no required long-winded answers to complex questions.

Positive Effect: This meme also has a nice chance for Positive Effect. Perhaps as a result of this the blogger will learn something about what makes them tick. Also, readers of the blog will learn a little more about the person behind the blog.


The Name Game
Relevance: 24
Efficiency: 80
Positive Effect: 12
TMS: 116

Relevance: The Name Game meme is something every blogger dreads to get tagged with. It is essentially a forwarded chain letter that you have been asked to perpetuate. The Relevance score is slightly mitigated by the fact that Name Game itself is actually not an unpleasant song to sing, and bloggers might not have considered how their name actually sounds when "name-gamed".

Efficiency: Name Game actually edges out Six Word Memoir for Efficiency, as all the tagged blogger need do is copy and paste a block of text, and replace one name with another.

Positive Effect: There is little to no positive effect for this meme. The world will not be any better a place to know how a blogger's name will sound name-gamed.


Clearly, the Six Word Memoir is a far more interesting and important meme than the Name Game. However, remember that this is the second time I have been tagged with Six Word Memoir, which requires us to divide the TMS by two.

The final breakdown is:

Adjusted Six Word Memoir TMS: 117.5
Name Game TMS: 116

As you can see, even a twice-tagged Six Word Memoir has a higher TMS than the Name Game.

As it is now, I am slightly in meme debt to Dr. Zaius. So, I will complete his tag to satisfy this debt.

***************************

Here you go, Dr Z.

My (Second) Six Word Memoir:

Indulges In Wacky Unfounded Theories Occasionally

Here's A Stupid Meme That I Hope You Will Enjoy

Let's play the Name Game! This is the stupidest meme ever, but by completing it we will save puppies' lives, so let's put down our cynical pens and start banana-ing.

*****

Rules
1. Tag one to many persons by doing the name game song on their Blogger name (their first name, if they have one).
2. Tell your tagged, name-gamed bloggers that they will have to continue the Name Game meme, or innocent puppies will be [make up something suitably awful].

*****

Hello, taggees! Please pass this meme on.

If you don't, I believe there are puppies about to be jettisoned from the International Space Station without space helmets!

The only thing preventing this terrible tragedy from being enacted is your continuation of this meme!

The taggees:

Bubs, Bubs, bo-bubs,
Banana-fana fo-fubs
Fee-fi-mo-mubs
Bubs!

Some, Some, bo-bum,
Banana-fana fo-fum
Fee-fi-mo-mum
Some!

Vikki, Vikki, bo-bikki,
Banana-fana fo-fikki
Fee-fi-mo-mikki
Vikki!

Samurai, Samurai, bo-bamurai,
Banana-fana fo-famurai
Fee-fi-mo-mamurai
Samurai!

Zaius, Zaius, bo-baius,
Banana-fana fo-faius
Fee-fi-mo-maius
Zaius!