Thursday, March 29, 2007

Shopping and stranded during a Zombie Apocalypse

So apparently to begin blogging one must actually do an initial post. So, here it is.

I was getting a sandwich at a local megachain grocery store with a coworker a while back, and I, for some reason, posed a "Dawn of the Dead"-inspired question:

If you were stuck in this grocery store for the rest of your natural life (and assuming your natural life would continue for several decades), would you be able to subsist solely on things within the store?

My friend indicated most definitely, and basically was able to convince me, though a nagging doubt still is in the back of my mind about it.

Now I find myself going through a mental exercise when going shopping (something I don't really enjoy that much). If the world went all zombie very, very quickly, and I chose this store I was purchasing my Cheetos in to be my last stand, how long would I last? How long would I last in a Walgreen's? Six weeks? Six months?

This mental exercise doesn't need to be limited to stores having food. Imagine you're stuck in a Dress Barn -- what could you convert to weapons to hunt animals and kill zombies? The possibilities are endless! This might give you Scrooges some enjoyment on your next reluctant Xmas or Birthday shopping excursion.


Joe said...

You need to get some grant money and study this in depth.


Johnny Yen said...

Since you'd need guns and food, I'd think a Wal-mart, despite their bad labor practices, might be the best store under the circumstances.

RE bee named bands-- REM performed a few shows early in their career under the name "Hornets Attack Victor Mature" as a joke.

Cup said...

With Dress Barn, you can arm yourself with hangers and bad polyester (great for flaming).

Oh, and by the way ... I saw a Hornets Attack Victor Mature show.

Dino said...

i think I'd choose to be stuck in harris teeter or trader joes

Dino said...

PS be sure to check you post options and set to allow comments - it seems to be set on no for the April post

lulu said...

Costco. They have clothes, food, books, things that can be used to fight off zombies, coffins for when your co-stranded people die....and a decent wince section.

Johnny Yen said...

Why am I not surprised, Beth? Very cool!

Splotchy said...

Thanks for all the comments!

It's sad, but I honestly think I would be more concerned about having a healthy feng shui in my holed-up store.

I'd probably be more occupied with moving shelves around then attacking the zombie hordes.