Friday, June 15, 2007

My, How The New Fantastic Four Movie Will Suck

Wow, did the previous Fantastic Four suck.

I borrowed a copy of the DVD (I knew well enough not to pay money to see it in a theater) and I could not even sit through the whole thing. I had to fast forward through it.

I was especially pissed off at how they completely crapped on the great villain Doctor Doom.

The movie was worse than Daredevil. It was worse than The Hulk.

If we can apply the Law of Movie Sequel's Diminishing Returns, the new Fantastic Four movie will, improbable as it might seem, suck even harder.

This movie will follow you home from the theater, kill your family then take a dump on your kitchen floor. It will be that bad.

And they turned the Silver Surfer into a T-1000 (search the web for images of what they did to the surfer, you won't find images of that cinematic travesty on this here blog)!



Johnny Yen said...

I saw the Fantastic Four-- at least part of it-- on cable, and was glad I had missed at least part of it. I mean, how can you screw it up? It was one of my favorite comics. The casting of Micheal Chiklis as The Thing was inspired. Yet, everything about it sucked. Jessica Alba's lucky she's good-looking, or she'd have no career. She couldn't act her way out of a wet paper bag. The script sucked. The camera work sucked.

Did I mention that the movie sucked?

Do you remember the comment about Lawrence Tierney resembling The Thing in Reservoir Dogs?

Splotchy said...

Yeah, I remember the Tierney quote.

One of my favorite lines from Reservoir Dogs.

GETkristiLOVE said...

I ditto with JYen, Michael Chiklis was the best part about the movie, yet it fell flat everywhere else.