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I was laughing my ass off about that one-- years ago, as a gag, I put a toilet someone had left at a curbside in the foyer my old friend The Elk lived in. He was furious about it, and literally did not talk to me for a couple of years. I couldn't understand why he was angry-- he's usually a good sport about gags (as am I with his). Our late friend Mark finally got him to talk to me, and I found out why he'd been so angry: one of the other tenants in the building decided to add to the gag by actually taking a dump in the foyer toilet. He thought I'd done that as well.
That should have been "the foyer of the building The Elk lived in." He's not a hobo.
When my brother lived in Wrigleyville, a mysterious visitor would occasionally deliver discreet brown packages on the back stairs of his building.But in the foyer?That's truly something. I don't know what that something is, but it's definitely something.
Hmmmmm... that apartment was also in Wrigleyville...I think the culprit was one of the guys upstairs. One time, at one of our many parties, they thought it would be the height of comic genius to put a bar of soap in the microwave. It bubble up, spread all over the microwave, and of course made it stink of soap perfume. They didn't really seem to realize that a prank is only funny when the prankee also thinks its funny.For what it's worth, I think all three of them were in med school.
One of the first unique cases I remember (I didn't work directly on it, my partner did) was a computer store in a strip mall, and at least 2 or 3 times a week the owner would find a big turd outside the receiving door in back. After this went on for a few weeks my partner finally ended up putting a surveillance on the place--it turns out it was some schmo taking a shortcut behind the store, headed for work every morning, and he got in the habit of taking his morning constitutional there on his way. He wasn't trying to harass the business or anything, although clearly he hadn't thought of the poor bastard who had to clean it up or hose it away.His coworkers must have loved working next to him--we never found any toilet paper at the scene, and he never said how he hanlded that function.
I certainly hope this deuce-dropper didn't work in the food industry.'Cause if he's taking a dump behind a store, chances are he's not washing his hands afterwards.
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