Words I'll Probably Never Use In Conversation

1. hubris
Definition: exaggerated pride or self-confidence
Why I Won't Use It: Chronically uncertain of the pronunciation.
What I'll Say Instead: "balls"

2. lugubrious
Definition: exaggeratedly or affectedly mournful
Why I Won't Use It: Can never remember what the hell it means; it's too hard to say.
What I'll Say Instead: "overly bummed out"

3. parsimonious
Definition: frugal to the point of stinginess
Why I Won't Use It: What's the definition again? I forgot.
What I'll Say Instead: "stingy"

4. hoary
Definition: ancient; extremely old
Why I Won't Use It: Fear people will think I am saying "whore-y"
What I'll Say Instead: "really old"

5. bilious
Definition: of or relating to bile, of or indicative of a peevish ill-natured disposition, sickeningly unpleasant
Why I Won't Use It: I can't stop thinking it is a pretty word used to describe clouds.
What I'll Say Instead: "icky"

6. surreptitious
Definition: done, made, or acquired by stealth
Why I Won't Use It: Too many syllables.
What I'll Say Instead: "sneaky"

7. pugnacious
Definition: having a quarrelsome or combative nature
Why I Won't Use It: No real reason.
What I'll Say Instead: "always looking for a goddamn fight"

8. perspicacious
Definition: of acute mental vision or discernment
Why I Won't Use It: That's what it means? Really? And how many syllables? Four? Are you serious?
What I'll Say Instead: "totally on the ball"

9. chicanery
Definition: deception by artful subterfuge or sophistry
Why I Won't Use It: Who am I, some muckracking author from the 30's?
What I'll Say Instead: "a ripoff"

10. dilettante
Definition: an admirer or lover of the arts, a person having a superficial interest in an art or a branch of knowledge
Why I Won't Use It: Too close to debutante
What I'll Say Instead: "arty art person"