Thursday, November 1, 2007

Word Verification Text And What It Will Trigger In Me

There are many annoying bloggers (yes, I am talking about you) who have "Word Verification" turned on for readers who wish to leave comments. It's basically some wavy text that the typist has to read and then must type in addition to leaving their comment, perhaps to prove they aren't just creating text by accidentally sitting on the keyboard while expelling gas.

Oh, sure, we try to make light of this allegedly positive feature that takes several seconds of our lives as we try to communicate our comments to you. For example, sometimes in the comment itself we leave:

"My Word Verification was 'yodelqr'!"

Make no mistake, this cheeriness is superficial -- we are not happy.

Many weeks ago, I made the decision to do away with Word Verification on my own blog, in solidarity with Coaster Punchman.

Still, you Word Verification wackos haven't gotten the message. In addition to this, I have recently noticed that the amount of Word Verification letters I am required to enter on some of your posts is reaching the double-digits.

So, here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to add the possible threat of physical violence to the equation.

By continuing to have-

1. Word Verification turned on
2. A post I feel compelled to comment on

-you will be held accountable for your actions.

On the off chance I get one of the series of letters below as my Word Verification text, you will be consenting to the consequences outlined.

Word Verification I Get - What You Get

Yahweh - Kick in the groin
Snurp - Punch in the mouth
Oopah - Scalded with flaming cheese
Yapple - A bag of oranges to the stomach
Whammy - You have to watch gameshows until your eyes bleed
Pumnotl - A stern look
Uuuuuuh - A boxing of the ears
Fluffy - Nothing [I wouldn't mind this word]
Ruqponbop - Pubic hair pulling
Kickme - See Yahweh


Joe said...

How's your comment spam?

Catherine said...

Dude, just wait until someone posts a body part in your comments and watch it all fly in!

But nah, I hear ya.

Splotchy said...

bubs, virtually nonexistent.

cat, can you elaborate?

J.D. said...

Well, I've never had this feature, as you know.

So let's go kill some verificationazis!

BeckEye said...

Well, I can't be bothered with comment moderation and without the word verification I get too much spam. If I remove it and get ONE spam comment, do I get to pull your pubes and punch you in the mouth?

Splotchy said...

j.d., you take the east coast, I'll handle the Midwest.

beckeye, sure, but only if you punch and pull at the same time.

Dale said...

I turned mine off a while back in solidarity with the CP and wrote about spam recently and got more than 60 spam comments in a day and then another 20 or so the following day. This is what happens when you taunt the bastards I suppose. I turned it back on but I'm almost ready to not get kicked in the groin again.

Distributorcap said...

what if you get OPRAH?

Splotchy said...

dale, when I get hit with that kind of crap, I'll recant, but until then, the world is round.

dc, dramatic, painful weight fluctuations.

dguzman said...

Splotch, I fear the comment spam. I know it's annoying to have to type the stupid letters (especially when they're illegible), but please don't pull my pubes or give me a bag of oranges to the stomach...