Sunday, May 11, 2008

A New Direction

A telephone rings in an upscale Southern Californian home...


"Hello, Steve Wozniak."

"iSplotchy! How's it going, my man?"

"I am a mountain in Colorado. I am lonely."

"Ah, I'm sorry to hear that, man. The campaign isn't going well?"

"My fool-proof plans fell through. I was unable to lure the monkey's running mate with my mountainness."

"Have you talked to the Jobsinator?"

"I have not talked to Steve. He is mad at me for almost exploding him. He also will not like that I am calling you without using AT&T's phone service."

"Are you phone phreaking, Splotch?!"

"Yes, Woz. It is the only thing that makes me happy."

"Splotch, man, you ol' dog! Man, get your peak out of the clouds. You're the iSplotchy! You're smarter than that!"

"Yes. I am the best possible candidate for the 2008 election. There is no doubt of that."

"You need to think laterally, man. You have strengths. You have technology. Use it!"

"Yes, Woz. You are correct. You have given hope to this sentient piece of sexy technology. Thank you."

"Bye, Splotch. I'll tell Kathy you said hi."

"Thanks, Woz."



Fran said...


Diebold? Not so much!

iSplotchy? It is the ONLY way.

Distributorcap said...

that was SO great....

dguzman said...

OMG, Splotch, you rule. You RULE!

p0nk said...

laughed so hard!

GETkristiLOVE said...

This country needed the iSplotchy voting machines back in 2000 and maybe we wouldn't be in this mess.

Dr. Zaius said...

Great Ceaser's Ghost! What a great post!

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

I knew you'd find a way to steal this election. Damn you!