Thursday, October 11, 2007

Yes, the iSplotchy Can Make You Tron

The unwarranted and slanderous attacks on the iSplotchy have increased recently.

This comes as no surprise to me, because despite its very late start in the 2008 Presidential campaign race, the iSplotchy is already pulling far ahead of both the failed iSplotchy hacker Doctor Monkey Von Monkerstein, and the combined IQ of 70 that is the Zaius/Gregarious ticket.

The latest smear comes from Germaine Gregarious, who attempts fearmongering tactics to imply that being in close proximity with the iSplotchy can turn you into Tron.

Let me attempt to unravel the latest lies Ms. Gregarious has foisted on the naive public.

Falsehood #1: Proximity to the iSplotchy will turn you into Tron.
Not true! The iSplotchy has the capability of turning its owner into Tron. This does not happen without the consent of the user. It is also possible to de-Tron using the iSplotchy. In short, it's a feature, not a side effect.

Falsehood #2: Being Tron is a bad thing.
I quote from Ms. Gregarious' ill-informed post:
"Seriously, if [handsome man, pictured above] can be turned into a digitized tool of the Master Control Program, what hope have you got?"

Ms. Gregarious, are you even familiar with the story of Tron?

Tron, played by heartthrob Bruce Boxleitner, is the program that topples the Master Control Program (MCP)! He speaks truth to power, not for it!

Falsehood #3: Germaine Gregarious is Open Source.
Really, Ms. Gregarious? You expect us to believe that?

Why have you incorporated? What are you hiding?


I apologize for once again taking time from my daily work on nanoenhancements for the iSplotchy product you know and love.

However, you must understand that baseless attacks made by Ms. Gregarious and her ilk will be answered swiftly and aggressively.

iSplotchy in 2008!


dguzman said...

Besides, your stance is way wider than theirs, which earns you the gay I mean NOT gay republican vote. You're practically IN the white house.

Splotchy said...

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

That's not me. That's just the lucky owner of an iSplotchy.

Fran said...

iSplotchy will make those of us who revere it great and will make them that mock it suck!