Are we already at the last assignment? Yes? Wow, my inflated sense of power and self-worth are already diminishing. Before these feelings completely leave my body, I will leave the following tasks for you. These are not required to be completed by today, but if it could happen over the next couple weeks, it would be appreciated.
Dr. Zaius, you will use your mad photoshopping skills to make me a "Call Me Splotchy" version of the pulp paperback copy you created (based on the Sleestak original). After it has been completed I will gladly contribute my own pulp story.
Bubs, you will have your picture taken in Vegas in your Elvis getup, either in a karate pose, or giving a karate kick.
Cowboy The Cat, you will find a public place in Carbondale on which you write "Splotchy Is Nifty". It doesn't have to be big, visible to the casual observer, and it doesn't have to be there forever, etc. Extra points if you take a pic of it.
Tim, you will lend me your copy of Sonic Youth's Rather Ripped.
SamuraiFrog, you will write a limerick that rhymes Carla Gugino and neutrino. An acceptable alternative to this is simply posting pictures of Carla Gugino and neutrinos (in the same post, obviously).
To the NYC bloggers meeting tonight (including FranIAm and Distributorcap): at some point during the festivities you will toast me, Splotchy!
The Idea Of Progress - you will dedicate next year's The Idea Of Progress Day to me, Splotchy.
Tenacious S - you will add me to your blogroll! I was there before, and I will be there again!
Grant Miller - For one day, you will change your avatar to a picture of you in a Hawaiian shirt.
Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein - You will let me hold the Crunky.
Jin - you're wearing my doodle. What more could I ask for?
Anandamide - You will wrap up your contest. The suspense is killing me!
The Drunken Severed Head - Three letters - DPK.
Jess - You'll make one more taint post, for old time's sake.
Dguzman - You will dedicate a small piece of the sidebar on your blog, where you will keep a picture of a fluffy cloud. This will potentially keep the winter blahs away for both you and your readers (well, me definitely).
To those not specifically given a task to complete, please add a comment to this post to indicate the largest mammal you believe Splotchy could physically subdue, using only his bare hands. People who have been given tasks are also welcome to comment on this as well.
Thanks to everyone who made this nonexistent holiday existent!