Thursday, May 24, 2007

Splotchy Reads His Spam

For some reason, the subject line of a spam email in my inbox caught my eye.

Make your fat friends envy you

I don't know, it just clicked for me. So's I checked the other 10-15 spam emails also in my inbox for any other choice phrases.

Surprisingly, I found several gems.

1. Do you want your dick to be wallpaper for a computer? Try [product name deleted].

I honestly don't know if I want that or not. My brain almost short-circuited when I read it.

2. [product name deleted] is a penis enlargement product that will enhance your penis in length and girth without damagining your health.

I like that word, "damagining". Didn't he play for the Yankees in the 1940's?

3. [product deleted] - an extremely striking flesh loss product is made available now wherever you need it!!!

Would you believe me if I told you the product was called Shylock?

4. May 24 2007 day of the explotion.
Already 200 millions of people has read this message !!!

Didn't the season finale for Heroes already air on the 21st?


lulu said...

"flesh loss product" the mind reels.

Joe said...

Reminds me of a story I read years ago when Coca Cola started advertising heavily in China. Their motto at the time was "Coke Adds Life", which in Chinese became "Coke Raises the Dead"

Splotchy said...

lulu, that's why i am so adamant against dieting. I'll keep my flesh, thank you very much.

bubs, that kinda advertising language short-circuiting can't happen enough. I've been witness to a couple of instances of lesser advertising mishaps, my favorite of which was William Shatner in a commercial for WebTV promoting "Shat Chat".

BeckEye said...

You'll really have to start worrying when they offer flesh-loss tips for your penis.

These cracked me up and actually made me miss spam. I used to get some really random stuff that was good for a laugh. Comcast must have some good spam blockers in place all of a sudden.

Splotchy said...

I don't know if I'll ever fondly miss spam.

It's kinda like missing the tools they used on my teeth at the dentist when I was a kid. Memory is accompanied by an involuntary shudder.

Mob said...

Ah, the wonders of miss-spelled spam.

I love offers for 'teen pron', which I can only assume involve young shrimp in some capacity.