Tuesday, August 28, 2007

I Suppose We Can Have An Arbitrary Vote Now

Enough people have provided entries for the Gayest Video Ever ™ contest, that I feel a vote can take place.

On the walk back from lunch, I had an inspiration for the award which will be given to the winner of this contest.

The Schneider

It's part B-52's frontman, part sitcom handyman, all delicious.

And now, the candidates:

Bear Force 1 - submitted by Bad Art Global

Queen - I Want To Break Free - submitted by Allen L.

Wham - Wake Me Up - submitted by Frank Sirmarco

Peter Cetera - The Glory Of Love - submitted by Distributorcap

Baltimora - Tarzan Boy - submitted by Pat

Culture Club - Karma Chameleon - submitted by Manx

Sting - Fortress Around Your Heart submitted by Splotchy (I am not also submitting the Leo Sayer song or Limahl video, as my original post already indicated my belief that the Sting video was the gayest. Still, they are both pretty gay and worth a looksee.)

Billy Squier - Rock Me Tonite submitted by SamuraiFrog (anandamide also submitted this entry a little later, unaware that it had already been submitted -- there was gay video karma in the ether, I think)

Lionel Richie - All Night Long submitted by Doctor Monkey Von Monkerstein


I couldn't in good conscience include this infomercial by the lads of Air Supply submitted by Jess. Although it is deafeningly gay with sprinkles, it's just not a music video.

If I left out anyone, just let me know. This is an extremely shoddy contest I have pushed together with the faintest whiff of an effort.

Vote early and often.


Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

I see you left off the one I nominated, your fave Lionel Ritchie "All Night Long." Shenanigans! I cry shenanigans on you!

Splotchy said...

I prefer to call it monkeyshines.

Your entry has been added.

Manx said...

I would like to cast my ballot for splotchy's pick - Sting.

You had me when Sting replied "Not hard enough". Then, straight to the money shot...literally.

Thanks for the giggles!

Freida Bee said...

I vote for Queen and always will.

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

I vote for Lionel.

Cup said...

I wanna vote Cetera ... because he's Cetera ... but I gotta stick with Wham!

BeckEye said...

I love The Schneider!

Wait, is it too late to submit a video?? It would be sad if this one wasn't a candidate:

Doc said...

Dear Splotchy,
I was hesitant to watch the Sting video, as I like this song, but then I don't really have good musical taste, so what the hell. After seeing the video I must admit that it is very, very gay, but not so gay that I don't like the song now. I couldn't bring myself to sit through the rest of the contestents, as I'm sure they are at least on par with this stink-burger, but I am content to throw my vote whole-heartedly at the Wham video.


P.S.- As a side note, you are very knowledgeable about music. Have you ever considered what 12 (or so) songs you would like to have played at your funeral? I would love to see your picks.


Some Guy said...

I have to say that this competition brought back a lot of memories for me and Megan. First, each and every one of you should be proud of your entries. They are all very gay. There have been times when we thought we had a winner, only to find an even gayer entry. Peter Cetera - dang, that was gay. Although they were extremely gay, we ultimately disqualified entrants that had females in their videos or were openly gay (sorry Wham & Freddie & B.G.). We are casting two votes for Pat's "Tarzan Boy". Remarkable stuff.

GETkristiLOVE said...

I gotta go with WHAM! "Look at my butt. It's perfectly round. I know, I've measured it."

dguzman said...

I cast my vote, and the vote of every cow (both living and dead) in my county, for WHAM. My cow votes count because I'm a Texan in the LBJ tradition.

I was tempted to put all my votes behind Cetera, and truthfully I still am. But Wham's just got that something special in those GAAAAAAAYYYY white shorts that just can't be denied.

Love the Schneider! And I think Doc's "12 songs you want played at your funeral" idea is PURE GOLD.

dguzman said...

Oh, danged if I'm not STILL tempted to double-vote for Cetera! It's just that line about how they're "both lyin' here" (here, as in "in bed"), despite the fact that the song was the theme song for Karate Kid 2--I mean, is that supposed to be Mr. Miyagi and that dumb Ralph Macchio (heh) lyin' there? Like, smokin' their afterglow cigarettes and shit? Eeeww.

Megan said...

Sweet. i downloaded a couple of kick-ass songs as a result of your competition.

"karma karma karma karma karma chamelEEEON, ya come and go, ya come and go-oh-oh-oh"

Splotchy said...

Even though it's probably a bad idea to vote against my self-interest, I'm going to vote for Billy Squier.

Splotchy said...

doc, I saw people posting about the funeral songs a while back, but I didn't do it, mostly because I could see the sullen 13-year-old deep inside me picking a whole bunch of mournful twaddle.

I'll give it another thought, though. It's a difficult exercise (for me, at least).

Splotchy said...

beckeye, your choice is noted, but according to the rules I just made up, the nominations for Gayest Video Ever ™ needed to be submitted prior to the post announcing the arbitrary vote.

J.D. said...

I vote for the Squier one. Very, very gay.

MC said...

See, to me, Right Said Fred's I'm Too Sexy will always be the gayest song ever.